Never Say Never

"I never want to live in an apartment again."  Whoops! And here is my ass, sitting in an apartment, again.  Really though, it's not so bad.  This will be our third night in the apartment. We moved Saturday; it was the loooooooongessssssstttttt day. Ever.  And a small scale debacle of sorts.  The movers were an hour and a half late. When I asked what kind of lunch break they would be taking, the response was, "Well, if the clients buying, we eat whatever."  Mkay. That was not the question but I see what you did. You just insinuated that we buy your lunch and now I feel obligated.  So, what the hell would you like from McDonald's because that's what we're having.  Oh, you don't eat McDonald's because it's unhealthy? Well, your two mover buddies do, so let me take their orders and I guess you're on your own because I'm not making two stops. Fast forward to the part where we all sit down to our unhealthy McDonald's lunch and he pulls out a Powerade and a bag of Funyons. For real. And did I sit silently by and pretend not to notice? Hell no. I smugly said, I'm so glad your eating Funyons instead of McDonald's...it's way better for you! 
Now, these were nice guys. Educated too, not jughead meathead mover guys.  We even discussed theology and conspiracy theories a bit. I liked them. Okay, I liked two of them. Mr. Funyon was just okay.
Now to the part where Funyon gps'd our new address and somehow took our stuff to the ghetto instead of our new address. I was not happy.

Finally they show up at the correct destination and promptly drop and mangle my new upright freezer. I'm not happy. See a theme?  Really, it was like I watched it roll off the dolly in slow motion and saw the three of them not catch it. I clapped my hands to my face as my jaw dropped and I think I made a weird "eeks" type noise.  Now I'm waiting for the company to call me about the damage report. I intend to give them an earful about the three stooges.

On the upside, we're here. Our stuff is here. We officially close on our old house this week. I can almost hear that chapter quietly thump closed like an old dusty book.  I'm really enjoying the apartment so far. It sort of feels like we're on vacation and staying in an awesome hotel suite.  We haven't been to the pool yet, but I plan to as soon as Birdy gets feeling better. Poor thing has had a fever all day with a cough.  Crossing my fingers that the rest of us don't get it.

We will continue our search for a house of property to build a house on, but we're not in a huge hurry
because camping at the apartment might be fun for a bit :)

Ch ch ch ch changes....

So much to catch you up on! And by "you" I mean the one person besides myself who looks at this blog a few times a year (Barb, where are you? I've lost my readership...)
Buttercup did make an offer on our house. We accepted it. Then we had to pay for a new roof and part of the chimney to be rebuilt.  Seriously.  It was all unavoidable if we wanted to keep him ensnared in the house buying deal.  I would've had literally chased him down the street with a butterfly net and some duct tape if he'd tried to get away.  Oh no mister, you WILL buy this house because I'M not living on this side of town anymore. No sir. And with that, we have a pending offer.
We close August 8th. Hallalooyer.

In other breaking news, Mark got not one, but TWO job offers. Sweet Jesus, thank you thank you.
He really liked one company but it took them twelve weeks to coordinate four interviews. In the meantime another company interviewed him for six hours over the course of a week and made the first offer.  He liked each company equally because each offered a unique set of opportunities and challenges.  But, early bird gets the worm, right? So he informed his recruiter that he'd accepted a position with another company. That recruiter then delivered the news to the snail-like company.  They were aghast with surprise that he didn't put off all other job offers to wait and see if they would make an offer.  In an unexpected turn of events, the CEO of Snails-R-Us called my husband directly and explained they were on the verge of making an offer and would he please reconsider if he gently twisted his arm.  Needless to say, my husband was very flattered by the offer, and really has admiration for the company and the people he met there.  My husband said he'd call him back in a day.  We discussed the situation and decided that Speedy Company had a much larger enterprise situation with more room for growth and besides that, he'd already accepted the offer and would remain true to his word.  He called back Mr. CEO and said I really like you and your company but right now, I've accepted another opportunity and I'm sticking with it.  Mr. CEO understood and hopefully saw the value in my husbands integrity.

So ends the job saga of 2012, I hope.  My husband is extremely happy where he is now and that makes me happy too.  I feel very blessed. 

Buttercup

Are you familiar with the old song lyrics, "Why do you build me up, buttercup, baby just to let me down?"  Well, right now "buttercup" is messing with us.  We had a young guy come take a look at our house on Tuesday, then he brought his mom back Wednesday to see it because she's fronting some money for him. Our realtor talked to his realtor who made it sound like we'd be getting an offer today.  It's nearly 9pm on Thursday and we don't have an offer yet.  *sigh*  I woke up this morning with high hopes and a bounce in my step. As of twenty minutes ago I've drowned my sorrow in hot fudge and coffee flavored ice cream. So, it's not all bad.  According to his realtor he's going out of town today. So I guess we just twiddle our thumbs awhile longer.

On the job front: Mark had an interview with a cool company on Monday. Then, an interview on Tuesday with a healthcare company that has already invited him back for a three hour interview tomorrow.  He went to a job networking deal this evening and got the scoop on a position at another awesome place.  So all in all, I'd say things are looking up. Or at least progressing a bit.  His final interview at another place is the 29th which seems like eons from now.  I honestly think he might get an offer from another company before then.  We'll see.  There's a larger plan at work and I'm really working on my patience.

Yesterday I took Birdie to the little splash park with her friends while Mark stayed home with the baby.  It is sort of handy to have a manny.  Although, a steady paycheck trumps manny duties.

So build me up, Buttercup, don't break my heart :)

Fathers Day

I'm just not a fan of Fathers Day. Or Mothers Day, really.  My dad had a few redeeming qualities, but on the whole, he's an asshat.  I haven't spoken to him in nearly ten years, on purpose.  As I was growing up, he pretty much demonstrated that he (and other people) were more important to him than I was.  And, just to keep it short and simple, my real mom died when I was three. So, these Hallmark holidays have always stung a little bit.  I don't need to pay any kind of homage to my dad.

I wish I did. I sort of grieve the dad I never had.  It hurts that I'll never have a a male role model to demonstrate unconditional non creepy love to me.  I don't have a dad that thinks about my well being and tells me everything will be alright.  I don't get to cuddle up to my dad as he kisses my forehead and strokes my hair and puts my needs before his own.

The cool thing is that my husband is trying to be the dad he and I never had, to our daughters.  He even read a book called Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters so he could make sure he's doing it right. Or as right as anyone can hope to get it.  He's making an effort to be a great dad to our girls.  He gets on the floor and plays with them. He makes meals for them. He changes diapers and soothes cries, walks the floor holding a sleepless baby at 2am...without complaint.  He hangs out with them while I take a break for a few hours.  He treasures their smiles, hugs and funny things they say and do.  He journals about them. They are more important than himself to him.  We plan for their future. We discuss discipline and concerns. We co-parent. We care. I feel so blessed to have a husband who gives a shit (and more) about his kids. He's vested, interested, committed, involved, and sacrificing .  His girls mean the world to him and they will grow up knowing it.  I wish I could've been so lucky, but maybe this is even better.

The drone of limbo

I have a little hum going on in my skin almost all the time right now. It's anxiety.  It snuck in when I let my guard down I guess.  Things were on an upswing, or so I thought, until they were on a different swing altogether.  I don't want to say a downswing because I don't know if that's true.  It might be a swing for the better.  A swing toward something better. That's what I'm praying for anyway.  My husband and I listed our house for sale in March. I was so excited! I've been itching to move back to the country for years and it was finally going to happen.  Then he lost his job on May 11.  Have I mentioned this yet?  Yeah. So anyway. He'd been there for ten or so years. A few years ago a bigger company bought them and eventually stopped funding most projects except for one government contract (the reason they bought the company to begin with). My husband was on the losing end of that deal. His boss gave him a heads up that he'd be turned loose soon...and he made good on his word. We're a smidge over one month into unemployment now.  I'm not freaking out. But I do have a low frequency anxiety going on.  He's been interviewing with some companies. He's getting ready to go into his final (fourth) interview with one company and they have it narrowed to three candidates.  It's just seems like quicksand right now.  And it seems like we're in one of those horror movies where you're running down the spooky hallway and the hallway just keeps getting longer and longer.  Yeah, just like that.  I know he's going to get something soon. I have faith which is why I'm not having an out and out panic attack. 
Our house is still for sale. The catch is, if we sell it right now, we can't buy another one because nobody is going to give a loan to unemployed people.  What, you think this is 2008 or something?

So the tape running through my head most days is this: Where are we going to live? Where is Mark going to work? Where are the girls going to go to school? When can I get all our stuff out of storage? What is the lesson in this?

Mark has some big interviews coming up in the next two weeks. I'll be praying that something good happens. I'm ready for us to turn the page and move into the next chapter of our loves...and to have health insurance.

Most Days

Most days I feel really blessed to be a mom. The other days I want to own a Jeep Wrangler and live like a bohemian in the southwest. I'd wear faded jeans, tank tops and cowboy boots all the time. I'd have a trusty dog to ride with me as the dust billowed behind us and the wind blew back our hair (and ears).

Where was I? Oh yes, most days. I have two of the sweetest little girls, ever. (Ahem, most days they are sweet).  So, Mothers Day weekend we were fairly busy.  Saturday my inlaws came up for a visit. They went to Birdies swim lesson with us, then treated us to lunch at Olive Garden.  Gram and Gramdad is what we call them. It's supposed to be "Grandad" but Wren says "Gramdad," which is way cuter.

They went home after lunch. The girls took really good naps (thanks heavens). Then, it was time to go visit my mom, who is too cool to be called Grandma. We call her "Grannah."  She lives five minutes from our house so it's really convenient.  My brother, his wife and their little girl, Briar, were there too.
Wren is only three months older than Briar so they have a great time playing together.  Autumn will be playing with them this time next year.

Gigi was also there. She's my grandma, also affectionately referred to as Big Toe. She has really long toes. She's about the funniest, coolest grandma I've ever known.

We cooked out burgers and dogs, sweet corn and baked beans. My sister in law, Dixie, made a strawberry cake. Beautiful mild weather and blue skies!  

The next day, actual Mothers Day, I hung out with Mark and the girls.  Mark made breakfast. Then we packed a picnic lunch and drove to Zionsville to the playground. We had the place all to ourselves and it was a lot of fun. Later that day the girls gave me a cover for my Nook and a card.
It was a nice simple Mothers Day :)   Yes, most days, the majority of days, I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Game of Life

Remember playing the board game, "Life?" I loved the multicolor road that went around the board
and the little plastic hills glued to the road. Then you drive your little plastic convertible car gamepiece around the multicolored road gradually filling it with little pink and blue stick people. Yeah, so fun! Well, I feel like multicolored plastic birds have repeatedly crapped in my hair as we drive our plastic car. 
In reality, we found out my husband is getting laid off from his job this month.  It happens. This is the first time it's happened to us.  He's been with his company for 11 years and now they are handing him his hat as the theater goes dark.  No, he doesn't work at a theater...he works in information technology.  There's no theater, lets move on.
He's had several interviews and job leads. Lots of irons in the fire and recruiters working to get him re-employed.  It wouldn't be such a big deal if we had two incomes. Alas, I'm a stay at home mama with a baby attached to my boobs.  So, I won't be hoofing it out into the job market.  In actuality and all honestly, I'm not too nervous yet.  I think he's going to land a gig soon.  There will probably some gap time between jobs and we'll need to get Cobra insurance but it's not dire yet.

The other side of the coin is that our house has been on the market for two months. Our showings have slacked off considerably which kinda works out given our current situation.  After Mark finds a new job we might drop the price to drive more showings and get a quicker sale. Right now though, we're gonna sit tight and wait for the bird crap to get washed out of our hair.