Wyons and Tigers

Tonight in the backyard Wren was yelling at our dog, Mya, to stop eating squirrel poop.  It was hilarious! We also went around the yard in a virtual "snowstorm" of dandelion seeds floating in the air picking said "danda wyons."  Wren is going through a very counterdependent phase right now.  I believe shrinks call it the "separation process" and the rest of us call it the "terrible twos."  She wants to help us do everything, which really is more of a hindrance mostly. Except when I'm making dinner and need her to rock her baby sisters swing and talk to her. Or when I have Autumns pumpkin seat in the big part of the shopping cart and Wren is riding in the rumble seat and I need her to turn around and smile, talk and rock her baby sister while I get some shopping done.  It makes up for the times she wants to help feed the dog; one piece of dog food at a time.

We have our house on the market.  I spend a certain amount of time stuffing mail, toys, stray socks and washcloths into various hiding places and then can't find them again.    Most of our belongings are in storage but the few that remain in the house keep getting shuffled in the name of keeping the house staged.  It's a huge pain in the ass. But alas, I can't wait to sell this house.  It's in a very busy part of the city. We live near a hospital so the siren noise is all the time.  Siren noise all the time will make a person edgy and anxious.  Give me a home where the buffalo roam and the skies are not cloudy all day....

Autumn is such a sweet and happy baby. She smiles and laughs more in one day than Wren would in a week at that age. I choose to breastfeed. Wren was a marathon feeder. She would languish on my breast for 30-45 minutes. She was a gentle, thoughtful feeder though. Never biting or tugging.  Autumn is much different.  She's a sprinter. She's done nursing within ten minutes.  If you look at my boobs though, it looks like I've been breastfeeding a baby tiger.  While she eats, she pinches, kneads and scratches with her sharp little fingernails.  And she pops off the boob with a lip smack so loud she wakes herself up.  Startled, she looks up at me like I did something, then grin.  Even her eyes smile.

My girls. They make me tired. They make me smile.

Wherefore art thou, new website?

Good Morning internet! It's a rainy cold (I can see my breath!) October day in Indiana. I have just a few things to say:

1. I'm tired of cleaning up dog hork every morning.
2. I debated at 7:30 am about whether or not I should go back to bed. I stayed awake. We'll see how that goes.
3. I'm reading an article in "O" magazine (Oprah's) about how to "Answer the Call." Which you might think is an article about going to the bathroom...but it's not. It's about how to figure out what you really ought to be doing from a career perspective (I think). I just started reading it so I really don't know the details...but I'm curious to see if it will give me any enlightenment.
4. This blog is going to be moving. I don't know when. I thought it would've been a long time ago...like 4 months ago. I'll keep you posted.
5. I'm running my dishwasher.
There! All the important things you needed to know today. :)

Naked Dog

Just for fun I thought I'd share this with you today. My little dog just got her "summer cut" and she's been nervously scooting around from place to place in the house...trying to outrun her nakedness. She's feeling a little breezier I'm sure.

A rag-tag bunch of updates

Thank you internet friends for keeping me on the straight and narrow. I forgot to post an update about Farley and his mystery lameness. Boo and I decided to give him the weekend to improve before we hustled off to the vet. We did give him a couple of low dose childrens aspirin to see if that would help. Apparently, either aspirin is a miracle drug or Farley is a big drama dude. He probably wasn't totally faking it because of the whimpering, but he may have been a little melodramatic. So, he's fine. He wanted to get a rip roaring game of fetch going by Sunday.

In other news, it's a very rainy spring morning in Indiana. I don't mind. The sun is either hiding behind the clouds or has decided to sleep in a bit. Birds are twittering (vocally, not technologically) about in the trees as I gaze out the window at the wet sidewalk. I wish I lived in the country again. *sigh*

In baby news, Boo was finally able to feel our baby girl kick for the first time last night. I've been feeling her for weeks now and I think he was starting to feel left out. I also read that if he puts his ear to my belly he may be able to hear her heartbeat but I'm not sure if that's actually true or not.

In travel news, I'm going to the far westside today to my hometown. I have a doctor appt. for my thyroid (woo hoo.) The great thing about it though is that Dairy Queen is open for the season! DQ will make the whole trip worthwhile. While I'm over there I plan to swing by the tack store and buy my mare a new halter. Poor thing is wearing a dirty black, cracking/peeling leather, "I look like a sale barn horse" kind of halter right now. She really looks like she just came off a crowded trailer of mud caked, sale ring bound, sad eyed horses. She's due for a new halter.
The vet is coming to do spring shots in a couple weeks, and I wouldn't want Dixie to be embarassed about her halter. Good Lawd child! Doesn't your mamma buy you any clothes?

It might be time for me to eat breakfast now.

Sweet Doggie

This is a photo of Farley, our four year old yellow lab. It was taken last summer during better days when he was fetching a tennis ball in the lake. This morning he is not feeling well at all and it breaks my heart. I noticed two nights ago that he whimpered as he was trying to stand up. It caught my attention because he's not a very vocal dog. It's just not his style. But he only did it once so I brushed it off. Yesterday, during the day he seemed fine. When Boo got home they went outside to play fetch like usual. Then, Boo and I went to dinner at a very upscale establishment, perhaps you've heard of it. Bobbie E's. Some folks refer to it as "Bob Evans." Upon our return home I noticed Farley didn't greet us at the door preferring instead to lay in the living room gazing toward the door. Hmmm, not crazy, but unusual. When he did get up Boo and I heard an unmistakable painful whimper, then he limped toward us. The dog is unquestionably lame in his right front leg. I went into horse mode, immediately feeling for heat in his leg along with a series of stretches and holds to see if I could get a reaction. He had a poker face. Nothing. Since we don't have any baby aspirin in the house I settled for icing it. He tolerated that really well although I'm pretty sure it didn't make a difference. We went to bed. This morning he is still walking gingerly and seems painful. I really hope it's just a muscle issue and not a bone/ligament issue. It seems a trip to vet is inevitable and I know what that means. Tall dollars. What ever happened to the small town vets that knew their trade and didn't want to perform every test under the sun just to gouge you in your desperate moment of helplessness?

Stunt Double

Hhhmmm. Seems the only thing Mya's missing is a hood and
walking stick.

12.5 inches of Snow

Today we woke up to the most snow I've seen in one snowfall since 1996. The State Police
wanted people to stay off the roads so I obliged and stayed home from work. I have to admit, since next Wednesday is my last day, I'm not exactly breaking my back in the work department.
I did some things around the house, dusting and whatnot. Then I grabbed my camera and took the dogs outside in the backyard.

Mya stayed on the deck and was having none of it.

Farley on the other hand, dove in head first.

As a Lab, he seems to enjoy all forms of water including

fresh snowfall.

Mya saw Farley having all the fun and decided to get her

fanny off the deck and jump in!

Here she is digging a hole trying to find the snowball I threw.

I'm telling you, Farley is a madman in the snow!

He got so excited bounding around that he miscalculated and mushed

Mya down into the snow. Then it was time to go in because Mya had her

feelings hurt.

I'm going to do some editing to get rid of the "blue" cast in the pics, but I wanted to get them

posted quickly so y'all could see what we've been doing today in Indiana! 8 weeks until spring!

It's all relative..or perspective

Settle in, this is a sordid tale from last night. Picture a quaint, inviting conference room at a bed and breakfasty type place. That is where I was all day yesterday for work. It was an all day meeting followed by a well deserved nice dinner at a a little spot called Noah Grants. While I was eating with my co-workers/partners/team, my husband was on the golf course an hour from home. He went there straight from work. This will be important in a sec. We were out and about being young professionals, right? As dinner comes to an end I ordered dessert for me and one for my huz, to go, because I'm a sweet considerate wife. After all the goodbyes I was juggling my to-go boxes down the sidewalk. In a split second I twisted my ankle and fell to the ground, breaking my fall with my left knee. My left knee has taken some abuse this year, so has my pride. While I was sitting there on the sidewalk assessing my to-go box situation a kindly older man appeared in an instant to check and see if I was okay.

Him: Ma'am? Are you okay? I was sitting in my car...

Me: Hiding my face, trying not to cry, pretending to fiddle with the boxes

Him: I saw your ankle and then down you went! Are you alright?

Me: in a meek tiny voice, Yes I'm fine, I was just trying to save the steak and brownies.

Him: Well you did! glancing at the blood dripping out of the new hole torn in my nice new Gap jeans.

Me: I'll be fine, thanks so much! feigning chipperness.

No no, the story doesn't stop there! I limped the next couple of blocks to my car, rolled my pant leg up over my skinned knee and cleaned my wound with the little first aid kit I had in my car.

When I got home I just wanted to get inside and wash the would and put some antibacterial stuff on it. Instead, I fumbled through the garage door into the kitchen with my boxes and just about fell on the floor with laughter when I saw this...

My husband and I had been gone all day, Farley was confined to the kitchen, who knows how long the floor grate/register vent cover had been dangling around his neck. But he was cool. Just sitting there watching me stumble in the door, blood dripping down my leg, laughing at his predicament. I'm sure in his own doggy way, he was laughing at mine. However, because I have opposable thumbs, I had to take pictures of his situation before I even went to resolve my own. Now don't get all Peta on me, the floor grate is extremely light weight and he weighs 115lbs. So, he was fine, it was funny. What made it even funnier is how lackadaisical he was about it. He's all, you know, I wear these things all the time. The ladies call me Flavor Farley.

He's a dood boooyeeee! Dood doge! Needless to say, I removed the offending vent cover. I eventually mopped up the carnage on my leg and I showed these pics to my huz when he got home. We called him Flavor Farley all night. Peace Out.

Solution to Writer's Block

I don't feel much like writing, so I thought I'd share some photos that have been hiding in my hard drive. Enjoy!

This near the Superstition Mountains in Arizona.

This is sunrise in the Mayan Riviera (near Playa del Carmen)

Mya having a dreaded bath. She hates it.

Riding Dixie last fall. I love this photo.

And this one....

Since my mare is sequestered to the far reaches of Lafayette, Indiana, I miss her.

They called to tell me how much her hospital bill is so far...don't ask. She's worth it.

What!? She's posting again?

Look at me, three days in a row posting! I had a couple of things to share...be warned, the first thing I'm going to share is pretty gross...so if you have a weak stomach you might want to scroll past the first few paragraphs.





So, I'm sitting on my couch. Right now. And this just happened about 15 minutes ago. My husbands 115 lb. yellow lab just horked his morning breakfast up all over my new wool rug. Yep.


Some questions immediately came to mind; Am I going to have to clean up this flood of digested dog food because my husband isn't home from work yet? Could I possibly leave it there until he gets home? Stop..it was just a thought, okay? I didn't really leave it there. So in the most exciting voice I could muster I urged him outside so he would think it was the best idea ever instead of hanging around and puking some more. Then I had to use my noodle and figure out the best way of extracting said dog vomit without mashing it down into the rug...hhmmmm. Why, I'll use a spatula, of course! Who wouldn't use a spatula? Geez Louise I am full of ingenuity!


Let me tell you, it worked like a charm. I picked the oldest, least often used spatula in my kitchen. And when I was done I put it in the dishwasher. What!? Why waste a perfectly good spatula?


Dog Hork Clean Up 101: Spatulate (see, ingenuity!) dog vomit, spray area with deodorizer and stain remover, blot dry. Voila!

Other Spatuletic activity: see photo



Remember back when I was campaigning to say the "F" word more frequently because I should unabashedly say whatever I wanted? Well, I think I'm over that. I kind of think I'd rather save it for special occasions or get rid of it altogether...well, maybe not altogether. Just much less usage. My previous work environment fostered such language, nurtured it even. Now that I'm away from that train wreck it seems a little inappropriate that's all.





My clock is ticking. You know, the biological one? Yeah, I've got all kinds of baby mama lust. Everywhere I look there are babies or pregnant bellies. There was a time when I wondered if I was the marriage/family type. Since I'm on my second marriage, I guess I like getting married. You know Boo and I are going to start "trying" this month. I hate to say we're "trying." It's more like "unbridled recklessness the likes of which we've never experienced." So, we'll see what happens. Stay tuned!

Napoleon complex, doggie style

My dog just doesn't respect me. She never listens to me. I know this is my fault because I didn't give her any formal training. So, I realize I am the problem in the equation.

Todays scene in the snow covered backyard:

Me: go potty Mya
Mya: runs flippantly out into the snow (we have a big unfenced backyard)
Me: getting anxious because I realize that Phoebe the devil dog is in her backyard which is connected to our backyard. Phoebe is a remarkabley good fence climber.
Me: fearing for my dogs life and yelling, "Mya! Mya! Come in!"
Mya: runs parallel to wear I am..in search of a place to poop while threatening Phoebe with her "I'm too big for my britches" little big dog bark.
Me: "MYA!" Then I give in to the fact that she isn't listening to me. So I leave my post at the back door and race into the bathroom where Boo is taking a shower. "Boo! Mya is in the backyard with Phoebe, I need your help!"
Still Me: racing back to the back door just in time to see Phoebe climb her fence with the dreaded sound of her toenails making the chain link "chink chink" rattle.
Mya: Circles and crouches to poop.
Me: running out into the yard to scoop Mya up as soon as her last turd hits the ground. I stand over her with one eye on Phoebe. Whoops! Not fast enough! Mya races away from me toward Phoebe barking like, "Ha ha! I've got my mom for back up!"
Me again: running after Mya with my arms outstretched yelling "Damn it Mya come here! Phoebe GO HOME!"
Boo: turns up outside on the deck with a towel around his waist and actual soap lather in his chest hair. I really can't remember if he said anything.
Me: Mya thinks we're playing a chasing game and is having a great time. I am gasping for air running in the snow. I finally catch her and spank her butt. I was so afraid Phoebe was going to eat her and so angry that she wouldn't let me help her because I never trained her to come to me when I said so.
All of us: We go inside and Phoebe actually listened to me when I told her to go home. At least somebody listened to me. My dog and I need to sit down and have a talk. Oh yea, she won't sit when I tell her to either.

Groundhog Day

I guess I've been pretty busy since it's been one month since my last post. I'm so sorry to neglect you that way. Let me get you up to speed....

New Years Eve: Lots of fun, low key at moms house. We got a call that night that Boo's gran was going to the ER.

In the next week or so gran got progressively worse and had to eventually be moved into the Hospice center. Gran had a living Will that said very clearly she didn't want any artificial forms of life support. Boo's brother and A flew in town and we all hunkered down taking shifts at her bedside. Well, Gran hung in a little longer than we though she would. So, we all disbanded for a day or so and sure enough, after the last person went home Gran decided she would slip quietly away. She never wanted anyone to make a fuss over her. The funeral was in her hometown on a very cold and blustery day but most of Boo's family made it in town for the event. It was nice to meet them although not on great terms. I am happy for Gran. Only the people left behind are broken hearted.

So, now it's the first of February and I am looking forward to spring soon. Boo and I are taking our honeymoon in exactly one week. I've been shopping buying new sunglasses and shorts. I even bought a new bikini. Yep, a bikini! I've been doing Pilates and interval training on the treadmill. I am not where I'd like to be, but I'm close enough that I feel qualified to wear a bikini. I'm always going to have wide hips which makes my ass look wide ...and flat. And I've made my peace with my hips. One of these days they will serve me well.

The horse is fat and sassy. I haven't ridden in months because I am a cold weather weenie. The dogs are hairy and never seem to have enough attention. They are both laying at my feet below the dining room table right now. Farley is going through a stage with his nose. He has to smell everything, and not just smell it, but put his nose right on it. If you are on the receiving end of his wet cold snoot, beware. Boo got out of the shower and bent over to get something out of bottom cabinet one day. He let out a yelp that startled me so much I came to see what happened. Apparently, Farley's nose came up from behind and tried to root around Boo's man parts. I never laughed so hard!

Today I am trying to get caught up on housework which always seems to include extra work. I get overwhelmed and I don't know where to start so I just don't start.

Yep, she's wearing a lampshade on her head.

I am ready for some time off. The December sales picked up a little, not much though, and I am ready to recharge for the new year. I want to kick back with friends and family, have some cocktails and sleep in a few days. I have pretty much sold everything I'm going to for this month. It's not a stellar month, but December never is. Did I mention my company is making us work Christmas Eve? All of our plants in the area are closed, all the delivery drivers are off...but sales management thinks the salespeople should come into the office. We aren't supposed to make any phone calls, afterall, our customers have the day off. We just have to come in for a few hours to mail things out to some customers. Busy work. I feel like Bob Cratchit working for Scrooge. Nevermind that I spend Christmas Eve with my family and I might need some prep time. Oh, and we were told that if we are "sick" we will have to show a doctors note. Elementary. Simply elementary. Assholes.

My dog had surgery yesterday. She had "cherry eye," it's when the MN gland hangs out of their eye like a puffy pink blob. Disgusting and expensive. Thank you Lord for the means to pay for it. My poor punkin dog. *in a baby voice* Sher is my baby dog. Sher's jus a baby! Poor sing!

Anyway, My friend and coworker L just closed on her new house yesterday. She is moving in today. I'm really proud of her! She is only 24 and had a nice new townhome built for herself! Just her, no help from her parents or any man. Yay L! So, I have a housewarming gift for her.

Tonight I am having a girls' night with some longtime friends. We rarely all get together but I'm really looking forward to tonight! You just can't replace friends you've had since childhood. I love them like sisters. We're going to Cheescake Factory for dinner and a small gift exchange.

Well, that just about is all I have to report on today. I'm going to take a snooze since I got all of Boo's gifts wrapped and I have posted a blog. I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas. P.S all the snow is melting. Hopefully some will stick around for Christmas.