Gossip Pig

Remember how I said there was a surprise coming soon? Apparently these little piggies have heard about it because they're running to tell all their friends. I can't shut them up about it!
They're going to ruin the surprise! "OINK! Oink oinkoinkoink Oink!" Dang it! They spilled the beans. What's that? Oh! Great, you don't speak pig latin. Whew. Then the surprise isn't ruined. Coming Soon!

Stunt Double

Hhhmmm. Seems the only thing Mya's missing is a hood and
walking stick.

Sunday Morning

It's gray (or is it grey?) this morning in Indiana. And cold. Dang cold. Last week we had a little Indian Summer going on with a balmy 72 degrees. Now, it's about 40 degrees outside. It was the same way yesterday. Boo and I ran errands together yesterday. I like it when we run errands together on weekends because it's cozy and couple-y. I don't like it when we barely see/talk to each other because our work schedules keep us so busy that even when we're home we're both on our laptops. It starts feeling roommate-ish and less marriage-ish. I don't like that at all. I start getting all bitchy and mean and not feeling appreciated. Running errands together was nice.
Boo took off this morning to his parents house in southern Indiana. They need help picking out a new computer and setting it up and since Boo is a computer dude, he's the guy for the job. He's also the guy who is going to move some furniture around for his mom while he's there. That means I'm solo today. All day long on a cold cloudy Sunday. I need to go buy some new underwear and deoderant but I don't really want to leave the house. I should also go see my horse but she's at a barn 30 minutes away and I'm a cold weather weenie. She'd rather be in the field with the other mares anyway, right? I'd probably just cramp her style.
My faithful dogs are with me right now. Mya is curled up on the couch right next to me and Farley is stretched out on the rug snoozing. They are sleeping soundly but mark my words, if I sneaked off the couch and tried to go down the hall to the bathroom, they'd be on alert and escorting me all the way there. Then, since Boo isn't home, I'd leave the door to the bathroom open and they'd sit there and stare at me. There's nothing like having an audience. Mya might even come in and put her paws up on my knees wanting a pet on the head. After the flush, we'd all shuffle back into the living room and resume our places. Thank goodness for my dogs, I don't know how I walk around the house without them.
Maybe I'll take a little snooze too...then decide what to do with the day.

Here she is!

There's my mare! She came home from Purdue and is slowly healing from surgery. She's just hanging out in the pasture in her fly mask. They removed the tumor with a CO2 laser and kept her in the large animal hospital for three weeks. A student called me everyday to tell me her progress. I am so glad to have her home.
Here she is hanging with her girls. All the boys are over in the other field. They flirt with her. And she teases them. They find her fly mask very mysterious and intriguing. Probably because
the other girls aren't wearing one. That's my girl, she's a horse of a different color, literally and figuratively. Yay Dixie! Welcome home!

It's all relative..or perspective

Settle in, this is a sordid tale from last night. Picture a quaint, inviting conference room at a bed and breakfasty type place. That is where I was all day yesterday for work. It was an all day meeting followed by a well deserved nice dinner at a a little spot called Noah Grants. While I was eating with my co-workers/partners/team, my husband was on the golf course an hour from home. He went there straight from work. This will be important in a sec. We were out and about being young professionals, right? As dinner comes to an end I ordered dessert for me and one for my huz, to go, because I'm a sweet considerate wife. After all the goodbyes I was juggling my to-go boxes down the sidewalk. In a split second I twisted my ankle and fell to the ground, breaking my fall with my left knee. My left knee has taken some abuse this year, so has my pride. While I was sitting there on the sidewalk assessing my to-go box situation a kindly older man appeared in an instant to check and see if I was okay.

Him: Ma'am? Are you okay? I was sitting in my car...

Me: Hiding my face, trying not to cry, pretending to fiddle with the boxes

Him: I saw your ankle and then down you went! Are you alright?

Me: in a meek tiny voice, Yes I'm fine, I was just trying to save the steak and brownies.

Him: Well you did! glancing at the blood dripping out of the new hole torn in my nice new Gap jeans.

Me: I'll be fine, thanks so much! feigning chipperness.

No no, the story doesn't stop there! I limped the next couple of blocks to my car, rolled my pant leg up over my skinned knee and cleaned my wound with the little first aid kit I had in my car.

When I got home I just wanted to get inside and wash the would and put some antibacterial stuff on it. Instead, I fumbled through the garage door into the kitchen with my boxes and just about fell on the floor with laughter when I saw this...

My husband and I had been gone all day, Farley was confined to the kitchen, who knows how long the floor grate/register vent cover had been dangling around his neck. But he was cool. Just sitting there watching me stumble in the door, blood dripping down my leg, laughing at his predicament. I'm sure in his own doggy way, he was laughing at mine. However, because I have opposable thumbs, I had to take pictures of his situation before I even went to resolve my own. Now don't get all Peta on me, the floor grate is extremely light weight and he weighs 115lbs. So, he was fine, it was funny. What made it even funnier is how lackadaisical he was about it. He's all, you know, I wear these things all the time. The ladies call me Flavor Farley.

He's a dood boooyeeee! Dood doge! Needless to say, I removed the offending vent cover. I eventually mopped up the carnage on my leg and I showed these pics to my huz when he got home. We called him Flavor Farley all night. Peace Out.

Solution to Writer's Block

I don't feel much like writing, so I thought I'd share some photos that have been hiding in my hard drive. Enjoy!

This near the Superstition Mountains in Arizona.

This is sunrise in the Mayan Riviera (near Playa del Carmen)

Mya having a dreaded bath. She hates it.

Riding Dixie last fall. I love this photo.

And this one....

Since my mare is sequestered to the far reaches of Lafayette, Indiana, I miss her.

They called to tell me how much her hospital bill is so far...don't ask. She's worth it.

The Things I do for Critters

I love my critters. I do. My beautiful, smart and gentle mare has been battling squamous cell carcinoma for the past three years. The first tumor appeared on her vulva..literally where the sun don't shine. It grew and grew and was nasty and gross. My vet biopsied it and told me it was cancer. I bawled. I am a lucky duck though because Purdue University Large Animal Hospital is an hour and a half away from me. So, I had a friend haul Dixie (my mare) to some of the thought leaders of equine medicine to see what they had to say about it. Dr. Hawkins is the local CO2 lasering expert...see, I'm a lucky duck. He took one look at her tumor and said "Holy Sh*t!" Just kidding. He actually said we'd (meaning he'd) have to do surgery. Anyway, we (he) did surgery. Here's how they do it...the vet students put my mare in the stocks, give her a little local anesthesia, wait for her to get numb then they give her an epidural. Dixie stands there like such a sweet sleepy dopehead while they bandage her tail and tie it up out of the way. Then they make me leave the operating room because they are using a laser and they don't want to accidentally put my eye out. From here I can only speculate..I suppose they get the laser fired up and start cutting out the tumor while a student dabs the trickling blood with a cloth. Then they stitch her up. It doesn't take long after surgery for her to wake up a little and the epidural wears off. She's so dang good and well behaved. She healed up and you couldn't even tell she'd ever had an issue back there. Until the tumor showed up again...two more times. So we did surgery two more times. Dr. Hawkins was frustrated, Dixie was frustrated and I was frustrated. Why won't this cancer take a hint and get lost? Make like a tree and leave....make like a fetus and head out.....scram..beat it...you get the idea. It kept coming back and invading her girl parts. Last August was the latest surgery and I thought we'd beat it with surgery and cisplatin injections.

Until last month. The cancer was back with a brand new tumor and was growing faster than ever. By the time I got her back to Purdue it was the size of a baseball. Her surgery was last Thursday and Dr. Hawkins is optimistic that maybe this time it's just an abscess which is much less worrisome and also benign. I am guarded but slightly hopeful. I'm a bottom line kind of girl, so I'll wait for the official histopathology results. I thought I'd share some photos from my visiting my mare in the hospital today. Don't worry, you won't be able to see the swollen surgical site (it's under her tail, sillies!).

Mmmmm..mama brought peppermints!

Beats hospital food!

She's gittin' my itchy spot! Oh yeah!

Checkin' out the scene of the crime.

Okay, seriously mom, enough with the camera.

Oh yeah, did you see the sexy, gigantic jumpsuit I had to wear into her stall? Mmmhhhhmm you know it. Right after I left her stall they handed me a helmet and I boarded Apollo 13.

Cross your fingers for us! And send money!

Sweet bird

It's the middle of the night and I'm awake. I went with some girls to see the "Sex and the City" movie tonight. It started at 9:30 but the power went out halfway thru the show and it took some time to get it up and running again. Good movie btw.
Hellacious storms came thru tonight and by the time I got home to let the dogs out it was past 1am. The backyard was flooded. Mya (our little dog) found something interesting under a tree and bounced around it while it tried to scamper away. Well, it scampered right into the flooded part of the yard. Mya was right with it, so I went out in the yard to get her. As I got closer I heard the thing "peep" in dispair. It was a baby bird that had been stormed out of it's nest. So I waded out into the water in my sundress, pajama pants and flip flops. I scooped him up in my hands, lost one flip flop and was soaked to my knees. The dogs were bouncing around me trying to see what it was. I took him inside and patted him dry. He seems in good health and just shy of being old enough to fly. I put him in a box with a paper towel nest and took him out to the garage where he'll be warm and dry tonight. If he makes it thru the night I'm going to take him to a wildlife rehab tomorrow.
Boo is at a bachelor party, so I had this adventure in the middle of the night without anyone to share it with so I'm sharing it with you. I am hoping this little bird makes it because he sure is cute. I'll keep you in the loop.

Note to Self and Everyone Else

See Archived Blog: October 10, 2007.

Squirrels were in the yard yesterday digging up the loot they buried last fall! But the little geniuses still haven't found the squirrel feeder I put up specifically for them with delicious ears of field corn. Go figure.

Napoleon complex, doggie style

My dog just doesn't respect me. She never listens to me. I know this is my fault because I didn't give her any formal training. So, I realize I am the problem in the equation.

Todays scene in the snow covered backyard:

Me: go potty Mya
Mya: runs flippantly out into the snow (we have a big unfenced backyard)
Me: getting anxious because I realize that Phoebe the devil dog is in her backyard which is connected to our backyard. Phoebe is a remarkabley good fence climber.
Me: fearing for my dogs life and yelling, "Mya! Mya! Come in!"
Mya: runs parallel to wear I am..in search of a place to poop while threatening Phoebe with her "I'm too big for my britches" little big dog bark.
Me: "MYA!" Then I give in to the fact that she isn't listening to me. So I leave my post at the back door and race into the bathroom where Boo is taking a shower. "Boo! Mya is in the backyard with Phoebe, I need your help!"
Still Me: racing back to the back door just in time to see Phoebe climb her fence with the dreaded sound of her toenails making the chain link "chink chink" rattle.
Mya: Circles and crouches to poop.
Me: running out into the yard to scoop Mya up as soon as her last turd hits the ground. I stand over her with one eye on Phoebe. Whoops! Not fast enough! Mya races away from me toward Phoebe barking like, "Ha ha! I've got my mom for back up!"
Me again: running after Mya with my arms outstretched yelling "Damn it Mya come here! Phoebe GO HOME!"
Boo: turns up outside on the deck with a towel around his waist and actual soap lather in his chest hair. I really can't remember if he said anything.
Me: Mya thinks we're playing a chasing game and is having a great time. I am gasping for air running in the snow. I finally catch her and spank her butt. I was so afraid Phoebe was going to eat her and so angry that she wouldn't let me help her because I never trained her to come to me when I said so.
All of us: We go inside and Phoebe actually listened to me when I told her to go home. At least somebody listened to me. My dog and I need to sit down and have a talk. Oh yea, she won't sit when I tell her to either.

Mama Said

I'm sick today. Probably from all the holiday happenings...got me all run down. That's what my mom always used to say to me..."You're going to get run down and sick if you keep going the way you are!" Maybe there is some wisdom there someplace. Although, this is the same woman who asked me the most ridiculous question the other day on the phone. Here's how it went...
Me: "Well, I bought our bird for Thanksgiving"
Mom: "Do you know how to cook it? You just need an hour for every four pounds"
Me: "I was just going to go to butterball.com and check out their instructions"
Mom: "WHAT?! Do you think the internet is smarter than me???" (deeply offended and serious)
I of course said, "No, mom." I was thinking to myself, what a crazy question.

Just so you know, I've been on the couch all day wrapped in multiple crocheted afghans and my little dog Mya has been right here by my side. Oh, except for the two hours I had to drag myself across town to doctor my horse. The barn owner called to tell me my horse, Dixie, had come in lame last night. So, together he and I soaked her foot in hot water and epsom salt. I gave her some bute (horsey Tylenol) and put her back in her stall. If she's not any better tomorrow I'll be calling the vet.
I do love my critters.