Not so wild anymore

As a new mama I've been feeling very cooped up in the house. Since I had a c-section I wasn't allowed to drive for two weeks...not sure if that's because of the incision or the pain meds. Cabin fever does not become me. I was getting depressed. As an extrovert I tend to get my energy from other people and social situations. Usually I'm quite the butterfly out and about talking, visiting and lunching with girlfriends. It seems my new little Bird has clipped my wings considerably...which I expected but you never really know what "your life is about to change" means until you experience it.

Monday evening after the baby was fed my husband and I were going to load her in the car and go pick up a few items from Babies R Us. He was going to drive me there and sit in the car with Bird while I went in. Then, I had a revelation. It's been two weeks. I'm sprung! I can drive!

So I casually say to my Boo, "You know, I can drive now, maybe I'll just go by myself." To which my wonderfully astute husband replied, "Oh, okay. It'll give you a chance to get away from me and the baby for a while." Isn't he swell? I love that my husband isn't afraid of babies or diaper changing or newborn crying. Since she was just fed I calculated my available time, handed her over to Boo and was out the door lickety split. Really, I was afraid my car might not remember me. Driving was a strange sensation and it took a few minutes to get comfortable. It was about 8pm on a very warm summer evening...my window rolled down, my cd's playing. Who knew such a simple activity would bring me such a feeling of freedom and relief? I was gone for about an hour. One blissful hour to myself on a summer night.

I returned home as a refreshed, relaxed new mama. The Bird was the picture of tranquility; asleep on her daddy's chest.

She's sleeping right now

Here are a couple snapshots of the new Bird. Her name is Wren. She is lovely and precious and I've never experienced love on this level. She has chipmunk cheeks and little fat rolls all over. I get emotional everytime I look at her and think about the fact that she's my daughter and how very cool that is.

"Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow; for babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow. So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep."

Baby!

Yes! There's a baby girl! I apologize profusely that there is not a cute cuddly photo posted with this and you may feel free to flog me for it. I will post one very soon!
She was born July 12th at 10:38pm. We ended up with a c-section due to a number of factors.
She is beautiful and much bigger than I anticipated (guess it was all those Hostess cupcakes I ate!) weighing in at 8lbs 9oz.
Pinky swear, a photo soon! I'm a little bit sleep deprived at the moment so cut me a little slack.
Updates and photo forthcoming....

Kettles on!

There's no baby yet. She was due yesterday. I sat around yesterday waiting for something to happen. That was very boring. This morning I decided I would put some faith in the old saying that "a watched pot never boils." I squirmed and rolled my way off the bed this morning and took a nice relaxing shower. I did my hair, put on some make-up. My Boo made pancakes and sausage and I enjoyed eating them. The farmers market opened at 8am so we trotted around in the rain looking at fresh produce and baked goods. I couldn't resist getting a pint of fresh blue berries. I also bought cucumbers, yellow squash, zucchini, an adorable onion and a heaping mess of green beans from an Amish man. I made a comment about snapping beans later, so he asked if I'd ever just thrown them in the pot "as is." I said no, I usually snap them. He said his wife usually throws them in a big pot with potatoes, onion and ham chunks. So when I got home, that's just what I did! As I'm writing, there is a giant pot of farmers market goodness stewing on the stove for dinner tonight. Yumm! Now watch, the baby will decide to arrive and I'll have to skip dinner. I'd probably be cool with that.

Anticipation

One day away from my baby's due date. I'm so ready to meet her and see her little hands and feet. I can't wait to stare at her little face. A few months ago I wanted to have some maternity photos done. I found photographer who was building his portfolio at the time and said he'd do it for free. Free is good for me. I thought he did an excellent job. These are unedited shots and I particularly like the first one. It really illustrates how I've felt about horses my whole life. The bond between my mare and I also comes through crystal clear. *sigh* I miss hanging out with my mare.

I keep her at a private barn on the other side of the city and under normal circumstances I only see her once or twice a week. Since I've been pregnant my visits have been even less. My doctor mandated there would be no riding. The other thing is that my mare gets turned out first thing in the morning and doesn't come in until sundown; she's out in a large field with several other mares. At the beginning of my pregnancy I didn't mind going out to catch her but some of the other mares are squirrely. As I lost my cat-like reflexes and ability to maneuver my large body I gave up going into the field. My mare has been on an extended vacation and she told me she was having a ball. After the baby arrives I'll take her out to meet my mare who loves all baby creatures. She nickers to foals and puppies and I imagine she'll be just as matronly to our new baby. I can't wait for the baby to arrive and I can't wait to ride my mare again. All in good time.

Oops, I said Cervix!

For those of you following along I am now TWO days away from my very first baby's due date.
The Stork is scheduled to drop her off on Friday the 10th. I've had multiple conversations with the Stork and his people about the schedule and making sure that he has no other obligations on the morning of 10th than bringing my baby girl. Of course much like FedEx or UPS the Stork and his people are all like, "we can't make any guarantees, there could be storms that might delay delivery and they charge extra for express." I can't believe the Stork has sold out. Seriously. I guess we're at the mercy of him and Mother Nature (she seems a little more reasonable). Technically I could go into labor at anytime; wouldn't that throw off the Stork delivery schedule!
Okay, enough silliness. I went to the doctor today and she poked around and announced I am at 1cm. I know. 1cm doesn't sound like much but it was so encouraging for me to hear. I had prepared to hear something along the lines of, " No dilation and she can stay in there for two more months." Without going into too much detail I had some old scar tissue that was preventing my cervix from dilating properly...my savvy doctor took care of that pronto and said we should be seeing more progress very soon.
If talking about my cervix bothers you, I'm really sorry and promise not to mention such things very often. It was pertinent to the tale of my pregnancy progress this time though.
I have a favor to ask of you readers, please cross your fingers that I go into labor very soon.
Thank you and goodnight!

Le Fleur

I love wildflowers. I was just over on another blog admiring gorgeous photos of a wild daisy and felt compelled to browse my own "floral archive." Last summer I ended up having the most glorious patch of wildflowers on the west side of our house. In the warm breezy summer evenings I'd walk around to the side of the house, typically with a small dog on my trail, to admire the variety of blooms. One of those times I had enough forethought to bring my camera.

This year I decided to take my chances and see if any of them had gone to seed and would re- bloom for an encore. I wandered around there just this evening to take stock of the regrowth.

There are quite a few survivors but not nearly the thicket that grew last summer. Note to self: replant wildflowers in the spring. I do have these photos to remember the beauties from last year and thought I'd share them. The second one really reminds me of an artist's palette; big dollops of color.

Flowers by Raymond A. Foss
Three flowers bloom each day

Falsely fragile Queen Anne’s Lace

Clump of effervescent Daisies

A singular Black-eyed Susan

Wildflowers all growing in the fields of our hearts

Each her own scent, shape, pose

Craning for light, food, attention

Willingly, lovingly tended by the gardener,

the one who sowed the seed

12 Step Program?

Here is a small sample of the fireworks that were strewn all over our home office on Friday afternoon. Believe me, there were more than this. Lots more. My husband is passionate about fireworks. By day he's a mild mannered IT professional. He wears nice dress pants with button up shirts and shaves daily. His manner changes dramatically during Fourth of July weekend though. On July 3rd he drags out all the fireworks and starts planning and strategizing his "show." Then his analytical skills turn from computer solutions to combining fuses and bundling artillery shells. He designs platforms to secure the launch tubes. He even asked if I wanted to assist him with bundling the shells into spectacular color combinations...I politely declined and smiled at his obsession.July 4th our family assembles at the lakehouse for the holiday celebration. This year was almost a washout. We had a heavy, steady rain from 10am until around 9pm. As soon as we got to the lake my husband, brother and stepdad disappeared into the barn to admire the fireworks and discuss their plans for the big show that night. I plopped my pregnant rear on the couch on the screened porch for the entire day and chit chatted with my pregnant sister-in-law while grazing on all the food offerings. Now that I think about it, I don't think the guys even came in for lunch.

We all have our hobbies and my husband proudly flys his freak flag...firework fetish. The Fourth of July is his favorite holiday and far surpasses Christmas or the other biggies.

I couldn't resist this photo opportunity; our little dog found the perfect firework to pose with. I'm pretty sure this is how she sees herself; as a "junk yard dog." She thinks that's a picture of her on the front. Silly girl.

Oh, and the weekend isn't complete until after July 5th. My husband sets his alarm to be up and at 'em the morning after the 4th so he can go score the best deals on fireworks for next year. There is only a span of about 12 hours during the entire year when my utility room doesn't have fireworks in it. He used to store them in the spare bedroom but with the baby coming I needed the closet and he had to find new storage space for his addiction. Now the utility room is the arsenal. We're all stocked up and ready for next year and he's already thinking of ways to improve the display. I just smile and shake my head. My freaky fireworks husband. I love him.

Can't we all just get along?

I know it's been forever since I posted but I've been waiting around to share a big surprise with you. Unfortunately, I'm at the mercy of another person and the process is going longer than I anticipated. So, I promise there is still a surprise coming but I have a feeling it's going to be awhile...so let's all just cool our heels.
In the meantime there is MUCH bigger news anyway. Have you checked the baby ticker at the bottom of the page lately? My baby girl will be arriving very soon! Our due date (the 10th) is creeping closer. At this moment she seems to be having a good ole time rolling around in my belly though, so we'll see if she's on time or not.
Typical of any first time mother, labor and delivery remains a mystery to me. I have in mind what I would like to happen but I'm flexible and will be satisfied with whatever it takes to come out on the other side of it with a healthy baby and minimal damage to myself. I like it when gals tell me tips such as "there's this bar they can put over your bed that you can pull against as you push..gives you more leverage," and "if you're tired tell the nurses." Tips like this are helpful and things I wouldn't know. I thought once pushing began you just pushed until the baby was out; I didn't know taking a break was an option.
On the other hand, folks saying things like "it's going to hurt like hell," really aren't helping anyone...I think any fool knows that childbirth is not comfortable. When asking for "advice," I'm not sure that describing levels of pain qualifies as advice. To me advice might include the statements I mentioned above, or something along the lines of "screw the ice chips, bring in frozy pops" or "don't wear your own nightgown because you'll bleed all over it" or maybe even "the best way to bribe the nurses into giving you more sexy mesh underwear is..." See what I mean? Those are good handy tips that a first timer wouldn't know. Everyone on the planet knows childbirth involves some level of pain or discomfort.
I do plan to breastfeed and I'm pretty excited about it. I know some women love it, some hate it, some physically can't do it and some just choose not to do it. I'm cool with all of that. See, it's not my business to judge other women for their choices. I think women get a little bit opinionated and judgemental sometimes. Each female has her own set of circumstances that we (you and me) may not be aware of. Same goes for epidural vs. no meds. For example, I'll tell you straight up, I have a diagnosis of GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) which will probably prevent me from having an unmedicated birth. That's my business. Not every woman with GAD will feel the same as me, but I know myself best and I would prefer not to have a panic attack in the middle of labor. Do I wish I could do it with no meds? Sure because I'm very granola in other areas of my life. Do I want you trying to talk me into what you think is best? No. I appreciate your opinions and choices but I don't mind agreeing to disagree. As women we need to support each other, not judge and lay guilt trips.
My baby girl will be raised to respect the opinions and perspectives of others while maintaining her own solid beliefs. I can't wait to meet her, she will be amazing!