Thursday, December 20, 2007

Yep, she's wearing a lampshade on her head.

I am ready for some time off. The December sales picked up a little, not much though, and I am ready to recharge for the new year. I want to kick back with friends and family, have some cocktails and sleep in a few days. I have pretty much sold everything I'm going to for this month. It's not a stellar month, but December never is. Did I mention my company is making us work Christmas Eve? All of our plants in the area are closed, all the delivery drivers are off...but sales management thinks the salespeople should come into the office. We aren't supposed to make any phone calls, afterall, our customers have the day off. We just have to come in for a few hours to mail things out to some customers. Busy work. I feel like Bob Cratchit working for Scrooge. Nevermind that I spend Christmas Eve with my family and I might need some prep time. Oh, and we were told that if we are "sick" we will have to show a doctors note. Elementary. Simply elementary. Assholes.

My dog had surgery yesterday. She had "cherry eye," it's when the MN gland hangs out of their eye like a puffy pink blob. Disgusting and expensive. Thank you Lord for the means to pay for it. My poor punkin dog. *in a baby voice* Sher is my baby dog. Sher's jus a baby! Poor sing!

Anyway, My friend and coworker L just closed on her new house yesterday. She is moving in today. I'm really proud of her! She is only 24 and had a nice new townhome built for herself! Just her, no help from her parents or any man. Yay L! So, I have a housewarming gift for her.

Tonight I am having a girls' night with some longtime friends. We rarely all get together but I'm really looking forward to tonight! You just can't replace friends you've had since childhood. I love them like sisters. We're going to Cheescake Factory for dinner and a small gift exchange.

Well, that just about is all I have to report on today. I'm going to take a snooze since I got all of Boo's gifts wrapped and I have posted a blog. I'm sure I'll post again before Christmas. P.S all the snow is melting. Hopefully some will stick around for Christmas.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

2008 and Beyond

The big snowstorm, she is upon us. Yesterday all the newscasts were a buzz of doomsday snow reports. Snow started falling yesterday morning and stopped for awhile, then, while we were snuggled in bed sleeping the motherload dropped on us. Today, according to newscasts, is supposed to be blizzard contitions with 45mph winds whipping the snow into drifts. It's always the blowing and drifting you have to watch out for. Anyway, it's here.

So, it is Sunday morning and I've been up since 6:30 because I just couldn't sleep. Maybe it was the excitement of the new snow. I'm sitting at my dining room table looking out the window, watching Mother Nature do her thing.

I am thinking of the approaching new year and some changes I need to make. I've been considering my spirituality and how I really need to connect with God more often. Sometimes I feel a little too much a part of this material world and I need to maintain a closer connection with the bigger picture. I really think most people need to do this. It seems like the majority of folks are so out of touch with themselves and the divine nature of our earth. They (and I) get so enthralled with the misguided expectations and ideals of pop culture, material society and social climbing. How much money? How fast? How big? How much better? Comparing ourselves to each other and what we have or don't have, that we think we need. It gets so complicated. We make money only to spend it as fast as we can because society has taught us to be hyperconsumers. Which in turn makes us scramble around frantically trying to make more money. The cycle repeats itself over and over. Earn, spend, repeat.

This new year I want to simplify. I want to take care of my body. I want to put good things in it. I want to put good things in my mind too. The money I make, I want to save it. I want to invest it so my family can have the home we want someday and Boo and I can retire and not have to be Wal-Mart greeters when we're 70 because we neglected to save for retirement.
This year I want to instill lifestyle changes so I have a healthy mind, body and spirit. I want to relax. I want to nurture my spirit. I want to spend time outdoors, breathing fresh air and enjoying the beautiful earth.
Simplify. Mind, Body, Spirit.

Friday, December 7, 2007


There is snow on the ground here in Indiana, about four inches of it. It's heavy, wet snow; the kind of snow you make snowballs with. It's the kind of snow that hangs heavy and piles high on each branch of our evergreen trees. I filled the birdfeeder yesterday and they found it today. The first customer was a bright red Cardinal. The next time I looked there was the Cardinal and his wife along with two Blue Jays. My favorites! We also hung a squirrel feeder on the other side of the yard, but the local squirrel population hasn't discovered it yet.

My doctor's office called today. She said my cholesterol is "okay" (which didn't sound convincing) but my "Good cholesterol is a little low and some excercise should bring it up."
Hmmm. Well, there it is. Evidence that I am thirtysomething now. So, the excercise begins. Or at least consistent, frequent exercise begins.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Decisions to make "after the first of the year"

So, at work I'm on pace to earn the top sales trip, President's Club. It's what all of the reps are supposed to work toward at my company. I'm pretty excited that I'm on pace to earn that, however, I still have two more quarters to get through. Right now I'm feeling some stress because it's December and nobody is buying anything because they want me to call them "after the first of the year." The trip is to Paradise Island in the Bahamas, sweet. So, I'm trying to remain calm, but December and the holiday slump is causing me some grief. And I hate that. I want to enjoy my holiday without worrying about sales numbers but I guess that's what being a grown-up is all about.
I know that if I reach my goal of "President's Club" I can basically write my ticket to any sales job I want or be considered for a nice promotion within my current company. But are those things I want? Maybe I want to stay home with my kids and be an earth mama. But what about providing a nice dual income so we can live comfortably and take nice vacations without wondering how to pay for them? What the hell. What the hell is one to do? I know that right now is probably not the best time for me to go having babies especially if I want to reach my goal at work. And my Boo and I have our honeymoon coming up with unlimited fruity alcoholic beverages and zip-lining involved. All of which is not suited for pregnant women. Pass me a pina colada please mister cabana boy!

Monday, November 26, 2007

Mama Said

I'm sick today. Probably from all the holiday me all run down. That's what my mom always used to say to me..."You're going to get run down and sick if you keep going the way you are!" Maybe there is some wisdom there someplace. Although, this is the same woman who asked me the most ridiculous question the other day on the phone. Here's how it went...
Me: "Well, I bought our bird for Thanksgiving"
Mom: "Do you know how to cook it? You just need an hour for every four pounds"
Me: "I was just going to go to and check out their instructions"
Mom: "WHAT?! Do you think the internet is smarter than me???" (deeply offended and serious)
I of course said, "No, mom." I was thinking to myself, what a crazy question.

Just so you know, I've been on the couch all day wrapped in multiple crocheted afghans and my little dog Mya has been right here by my side. Oh, except for the two hours I had to drag myself across town to doctor my horse. The barn owner called to tell me my horse, Dixie, had come in lame last night. So, together he and I soaked her foot in hot water and epsom salt. I gave her some bute (horsey Tylenol) and put her back in her stall. If she's not any better tomorrow I'll be calling the vet.
I do love my critters.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

It's Thanksgiving Charlie Brown!

It is the eve of returning to work. Bluh. I'm sitting here on this Sunday evening trying to muster up the realization that I'm going to work in the morning. It has been a lovely few days off. Thursday was spent at my in-laws and as always, I'm sure I gained five pounds while I was there. Boo's mom is a great cook and I fully appreciated the bounty set before me. After-all, it was Thanksgiving.


I was out the door at 3:35am on Friday to shop. Even I am wondering about my sanity. Kohl's opened at 4am and I had to be there. I bought a king size set of flannel sheets for $20. and they had been $80. Quite a deal! I picked up a few other items too. Then, I was off to Target because they opened at 6am. I was standing in the frigid early morning air at 5:30am. They had a particular item on sale that I wanted to get for my brother and sister-in-law. I won't mention it here because I can't remember if they read this blog or not. Don't want to let the cat out of the bag! So, after Target I went to, drum roll please, Castleton Square Mall. The mother of all Black Friday traffic jams and fender benders. It is the focus of all friday morning traffic girls trying to break a story on the news. I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised. I found a place to park on the edge of the parking lot, the lines weren't too long and nobody cussed at me.
I started out in JCPenney and made a couple trips out to my car to drop off loot. Then, I went back in and ventured out into the mall. It was sort of festive. Sort of, almost enjoyable. They had a band playing in the middle of the mall (with a great saxophonist I might add) and State Farm Insurance was handing out free coffee! Santa was front and center with all the little munchkins waiting to get their photo with him. Most people were courteous and polite and I was too. About 9:45 am I'd had enough and went home to nap. Boo had ventured out to shop much to my amazement. I'm not sure where he went because it was a top secret covert operation. I may not go shopping that early next year. Then again, you never know.

Meet the Fockers

My family came over Saturday for Thanksgiving. My mom, her husband, my brother and his wife...and their dog Peanut. Seriously, I'm not sure there is another family like mine. My step dad likes to cut loose with a rum and coke sometimes (every weekend and sometimes on tuesday) but on really special ocassions he likes "Sailor Jerry" rum. It makes him crazy. So, he began drinking those almost immediately upon arrival. I had the bird in the oven and started whipping everything else together. I was asked by a couple different family members if I was "okay." When I am multi-tasking and focused I apparently get a pissed off look on my face. I assured them I was fine. So, we got all the food on the table around 3pm. After everyones' bellies were full my husband helped me rinse dishes and load the dishwasher. He also helped me clean the house before everyone came over. He is very very good to me and I appreciate him.
Anyway, my stepdads Sailor Jerry has been tempered by a mountain of food for the moment. As the evening wears on we rally out of our turkey stupor for a game of Pictionary. My sister-in-law, D is super competitive. During one moment of the game my stepdad, Sailor Jerry, challenged something and got D all worked up. The more worked up she got, the more he razzed her. Then my brother started farting. My mom is having a siatic (sp?) nerve issue and so she was walking around like Igor. I asked her when she was going up to the bell tower to ring the bell. She almost laughed herself right down onto the floor. Then I thought my dog was growling but it was mom farting on the wooden chair and it was the reverb that I heard. She said there was noway she could have gotten up and walked away without losing her grip anyway. Boo was about three sheets to the wind at this point. Peanut and Mya were humping each other all over the house. I was entirely too sober for all of this. D announced that they had to leave at 10pm. I was ready for everyone to go home. I love them, but I was exhausted.
So, my brother farted his way right out the door while everyone was getting in their respective cars to go home. Boo followed them all outside while I stood near the bay window waving goodbye. By this time it was 11pm and Boo is yelling at the top of his lungs (in our very quiet older neighborhood) "My brother-in-law's ass stinks! Peeyew! Woohoo! Nasty Ass! etc" Then Sailor Jerry pipes up with something about my brother and his rank ass. I was trying to shush Boo even though he couldn't hear me through the window. Finally, they all pulled out of the driveway and went the wrong way through the neighborhood. I went to bed and left Boo in his drunken puddle watching football on the couch.
That was my Thanksgiving weekend. I'm sure we'll replay a scenario very similar to that in about a month. Can't wait.

Monday, November 19, 2007

Thanksgiving vs. Day of the Turkey

I feel like a child that can't focus on school because I'm so excited about an upcoming event that doesn't have anything to do with school. My brain has left the office. I'm ready to be cooking and eating and bustling in the kitchen. I'm ready to watch the Macy's parade and eat coffee cake on the couch.

Boo and I will travel to his parents on the day of the turkey (that's what it's known as in Mexico). Not really. Anyway. We'll go early and take a vegetable. His mom is going to help me sew new buttons to my favorite sweater because Mya chewed the old ones off. I'm pretty sure I never learned about sewing buttons in Home Ec. class. Thanks for nothing Mrs. Pearson. But I learned how to make a mean pair of "jams"!

I digress.

On Saturday my familia will join Boo and I at our home. I plan to just make a big turkey breast instead of the whole dirty bird. We'll also have other basics such as green bean casserole, corn, mashed potatoes, peas (because I love them) and rolls. I am toying with the idea of having a relish tray too. I do plan to eat in moderation because I am scheduled to be in a bathing suit in February.

We just booked our honeymoon and I am probably going to pee my pants with excitement! We're going to Playa del Carmen, Mexico. Woo hoo! More on that another time.

Let's talk about Friday. To shop or not to shop? This is probably the craziest thing I do for a deal. I love deals and bargains. In my old age, however, I've gotten more selective. It's not a deal if you're buying something you don't need.

So, I will peruse the store ads and if a bargain snares my attention, I will be up before the ass-crack of dawn to go hunt it down and drag it home. I actually persuaded Boo to go with me to Kohl's last year, this year he is wise to my ways and plans to sleep in. That's okay though, I move more quickly from store to store when I'm alone. A lonely hunter. Stealth and cat-like I will move through the shadows of the parking lots. I will shield my eyes from the agonizing burn of florescent retail lighting before natural light emerges. And bravely I will prepare myself with a Grande sugar-free vanilla Americano.

And that my friends is why I am on vacation in my mind. In fact I'll share this photo of my horse. She is expressing her feelings about vaction too.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Coffee and a nap please

It is a slow Sunday morning in least in my house. Boo and I treated ourselves to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and came home and made a pot of coffee. This is the first time in a week I've been inspired to blog...and I have some catching up to do. So off we go....

Last weekend

We went to Tampa Florida. Boo's brother C lives there with his fiance A. This was our second trip down there and both times Boo and C's parents have gone with us. Let me say this, I enjoy the normalness of hanging out with Boo's family because it is so different from what I grew up with. A very enjoyable weekend in sunny Florida. We went to Busch Gardens and it was really pretty cool. I'll share a few photos I took.

It was a very relaxing weekend. I am especially thankful to C and A for sharing their home and showing us around.

This Weekend
Friday night we put together our new dining room set. I fell in love with this table and chairs on and I am very wary of buying things without seeing them in person. The thing is my local JCPenney doesn't have furniture in the store. So I had to take a chance, after-all they have a seven day return policy. When we got it all put together Boo and I were both impressed with the craftsmanship and sturdiness of the both the chairs and the table. Yay, just in time for Thanksgiving!
Saturday we drove down to Columbus, IN to catch a charter bus over to the Oaken Bucket game (IU vs. Purdue) in Bloomington. This was my very first time ever college football game. My college didn't have football. We tailgated in the parking lot, drank some beer, played cornhole and enjoyed the mild, sunny, November day. The original plan did not include tickets to the actual game. Boo's friend had some extra tickets to this sold out game and so we went. I am so glad we did! I will not soon forget my first game! We were rooting for the IU Hoosiers and during the first half they were unstoppable. The team was playing for their late coach, Terry Hepner. That gave them a lot of heart. Purdue rallied int he second half and the game was tied with three minutes to go. The kicker for IU pulled through for the team kicking a 49 yard field goal! Unbelievable! The students poured out of the stands and onto the field, it was a huge celebration!
Then on the bus ride home a couple of thirty-something, drunken arm-chair quarterbacks got a little rowdy. One of them even had his "cow bells" hanging out of his pants (I'll let you envision this without further description) and thought they were very cool. And they would have been cool, if they were with a bunch of twelve year old boys. The rest of us were annoyed. Oh then there was the part where our bus hit a deer and we almost drove off the road. It was a very volatile ride back to the car.
All in all a fun day and a great game though!
Now, I am sipping my coffee on this chilly grey morning. I don't want to have to do anything today. Lazy? Maybe, but I really don't care. And Boo is in full support and is sympathetic to my laziness. In fact, he is joining me.
I smell a nap coming on!

Thursday, November 8, 2007

Do the Doo!

I got my hair cut on Tuesday. It's shorter, a little darker and more professional. And...age appropriate I think. It's a sassy cut that is longer in front and somewhat stacked in the back. Some have dubbed it my "married" hair doo. It's actually kind of what Jenny McCarthy has going these days. Not that she's my style icon..merely a hair model. I just think it's a more mature look. My hair has been the same for years, it was time for a change. This new doo is going to require a few tools that are not currently in my hair utensil arsenal. I need a round brush, teasing comb, smoothing serum and some kind of root lifter...Oh, and a smoothing brush. I tried to cheat today and just use a fat curling iron instead of the round brush and it doesn't work. It gives too much oomf to the hair by my face instead of the roots. Gotta lift those roots! I put one of my favorite hats on today to be sure I don't look like a boy. I love to wear hats and I'll be damned if I look like a boy when I wear one! The doo passed the hat test. Yay!

Monday, November 5, 2007

Can I go to effing bed yet?

It is 9pm-ish. Two days ago it would have be 10pm-ish right now. So I am tired and irritable. Monday is my longest day. The alarm went off at 6am and I was up after one ten minute cycle of snooze. Cleaned up some dog pee and got in the shower. Mya (my dog) has allergies and has to take Prednizone, it makes her very thirsty and that results in extra peeing. Usually she holds it pretty well, so it must have been an emergency.
I was at the office at 7:30am for my first meeting. The work day went really well. It was a day in the office and not my vehicle which is my actual office. I usually don't like being in the office but the other reps and I make it fun.
After work L and I went to the Blu Martini with some other reps for half price sushi. I'm not a huge sushi fan, but it's mostly because I don't like the seaweed (or whatever it's called). It feels like I'm trying to chew a Hefty bag. So, I get the Blu Martini roll. It is crab, cucumber, cream cheese, rice and wrapped in soy paper...sans Hefty bag. Yum! Boo met up with us later.

Then Boo and I came home. This is where the irritation comes in.
We just got ceramic tile in the kitchen and utility room. Until yesterday the fridge was in the dining room, washer/dryer in the front room and the oven in the living room. We finally got that all moved back into place. BUT...there is still shit everywhere. It is just pissing me off to look at it. Boo's drill on the counter with sawdust and cabinet doors that need to be hung back up. Paint cans sitting around. Strips of quarter round that have nails sticking out of them laying in the middle of the kitchen floor. I was shuffling through he kitchen barefooted and found an old nail thankfully before it went into my foot. So I finished putting paint tape around on the floor in the utility room while Boo came in to sit and watch tv. Then I stomped around putting things away; I had a fight with a cookie sheet that was stuck in the dishwasher. Now I am typing VERY hard on my keyboard. I just want the house back in one piece. It feels like I've been living in transition for weeks now. Huh. I think I'm done bitching now.

The Mellencamp show was very cool. The set list was awesome and the man himself is so fun to watch onstage. Boo and I had a good time meeting other Mellencampers at the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner before the show. We had great seats and I danced and stood up the whole time...even during the mellow acoustic set. I wish he would have taken off that vest to show off his blue jeans and white t-shirt. He's got a new album coming out soon, look out!
Okay, that's enough, I'm going to effing bed.

Friday, November 2, 2007

Pekingese propaganda

Happy Friday! I just feel like I need to clarify this fat feeling that I'm having. If you saw me in person you would probably say, "Oh my gaaawwwd! You are NOT fat!" And you will just think I am a slender person being irrational and if you are heavier than me, you might even be offended that I think I have a few extra pounds. But. Here's the thing. I know how my body feels to me and I can tell I've picked up a few pounds and I don't like it. I am feeling unhealthy because I eat crappy food and don't exercise on a regular basis. And I am extremely paranoid of developing heart disease when I'm a little older. When you hit your 30's you think of things like this. At least I do. Okay, I am a's okay, just say it. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I am aware of how most people will view me and my physique...but I know it's not as good as it used to be and I need to do some work. So, there.

Switching topics...Boo and I window shopped the Hallmark store after dinner tonight. Then I couldn't resist and decided to go in. We wandered around and looked at all the useless decorative items that are very appealing to me. Then I spotted a shelf with some dog figurines and had to check it out. Anytime I look at dog things it never fails...they always have "yellow lab" stuff (which is what my stepdog is) but they never have "Pekingese" stuff. I think this is complete b.s. I know there are more pissed off Pekingese owners besides me. Well well! Lo and behold tonight they had a cute little Pekingese figurine! Ha ha! I was so excited! Boo asked me where I'd put it..and I said 'on my desk'....great, except I don't have a desk. At work we just have work stations where we hook up to the computer for a couple hours then we're out the door selling things. So, since I don't know what I'd do with it, I didn't get it. Just a side note, my friend A gave me some Pekingese socks and I have no idea where she found them, but I am sincerely appreciative. Thanks A!

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Have you looked for your glasses when they're on your head?

Well, I wore my costume to the "Mummies" concert, had too many cocktails and danced as much as my go-go boots would allow. They are very tall.

Anyway, the Mellencamp show is this Saturday in Indy and Boo and I are going! I love Mellencamp's music. I think he uses simple language to say very deep things. As a Hoosier girl from a small rural community I relate to his lyrics pretty well.

On another topic, I hit the "after Halloween" clearance bins today. No, not for candy, ha! Candy is the thing I need least in this world! I don't know where this weight has come from, but it seems like it just crawled up my leg and made a home on my belly. Jiggle jiggle. Gross! I am totally grossed out because I weigh more than I ever have. I've got to do something about it. Now. Actually, Boo and I didn't have any decorations for Halloween, so I went to get some after they went on sale. So, I bought them and some orange tubs to store them in, all for 50% off! Woo hoo! I am very thrifty and I enjoy a bargain more than the thrill of paying full price at a fancy store. I got a couple of those little lighted village things. Usually you see a lot of Christmas ones, but these are Halloween ones. One of them has a little witch being chased by a ghost that rotates around the top as if they were flying. Oh yea, it's exciting stuff!

Alright, now that I've bored you with my Halloween retail extravaganza I'll share a snipet from this morning:

7:30am Boo's phone buzzes as he is stepping out of the shower

Boo: *under his breath* "Who the hell is calling me?" *while slipping on his underwear*

*Boo is talking to somebody on the other end that is not making him very happy*

*hangs up the phone* Boo: "Damn that is NOT how I wanted to start the day. Where is my underwear?" *sifting around the rumpled blankets on the bed where his underwear used to be*

Boo: "Oh hell, I have them on!"

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Life is good

So I'm sitting here on the couch taking a mental assessment of the day while my new husband is watching the World Series. My dog is curled up next to me and my new stepdog is laying at my feet. I am employed as a salesperson for a Fortune 500 company and I sold a big effing account yesterday. Booyah. I had a great cup of coffee this morning accompanied by a toasted "everything" bagel (because I think onion and garlic are fantastic breakfast fare!) with a sun-dried tomato schmear. I had a sales meeting this afternoon during which I was recognized for my efforts and accomplishments. Then my friend L and I went a bought my Halloween costume. I feel very blessed right now.

About that costume; we stopped in the Halloween store for inspiration, but I don't really like store-bought costumes. So we went to this trashy little store where I found a 70's inspired blue dress with giant blue rhinestones, a white pleather belt and matching blue dangley earrings. We went back to the Halloween store where I bought a blonde afro wig. I'm gonna find some white go-go boots and big sunglasses. So what am I supposed to be? My mother when she was about 20. A disco queen baby!

Boo turned me on to this band called Here Come the Mummies and I love them. We go see them everytime they come to town. They happen to be in town this Friday and we happen to have tickets! I'm going to wear my Halloween outfit, drink too many cocktails and dance my ass off. Boo and I always have a ball at the Mummie shows. Check out their stuff I will warn you, all of their music is one big schexual innuendo. Watch out! My personal favorites are "Wiener Man" and "Boom Boom Room." You've got to see them live to fully appreciate them, trust me. Go see them when they're in your town, just once..try it, you'll like it. Everybody's doing it. Don't you want to be cool? From you alright! I learned it by watching you! You've got to be a certain age to get that last reference.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Sound Bite:

The scene opens with Boo and I driving to the furniture store except that he turns too soon and has to turn around.

Me: Are you gonna do a bunny?

Boo: *looks at me sideways with eyebrows raised* Huh?

Me: I can't believe that just came out of my mouth. Lately I can't say the words I'm trying to say.

Boo: What the hell were you trying to say?

Me: Well, this is what was in my head, 'Are you gonna do a U turn/ U-ee, Boo?'
But what came out was "Are you gonna do a bunny"
So, "uturn/u-ee and Boo" equal bunny.

Boo: You'll say anything to rationalize it.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

Covered bridges and fried food!

Whew! It's been a long day; but in a good way. Here in Indiana we have a thing every October in Parke County (which is about and hour and a half from me) called Covered Bridge Festival. You see, Parke Co. has something like 32 covered bridges. So, practically every little town in the county has it's own two week long celebration. All kinds of vendors selling everything from handmade crafts to antiques to crappy flea market crap to quilts and fudge. Oh, the food! Lemme tell ya what I ate...Started out the day with a corn dog, then later I had a barbeque sandwich with seasoned potatoes topped with cheese and sour cream. We sampled some kettle corn, yum. Oh then right in the middle of the day we were strolling along looking at all the booths when out of nowhere this 60 year old woman is yelling at whom I presume is her grandson. He's probably 11 or 12..just the right age to test your nerves but still she should not have reacted the way she did. Let me relay to you what she yelled at him in the middle of the street in front of God and everybody... "My cell phone doesn't work out here, and if you don't mind what I say I'll take my fist and punch you in the face little boy!" Nice. Freakin hillbilly. I wanted to punch her in the face with MY fist! All the people around were looking at each other like, "can you believe this bitch?" Anyway...
So then we drove to the Amish Wal-Mart. This place is actually a by-the-side-of-the-road Amish produce/baked goods stand. I had been telling Boo about the amazing fruit fry pies that the Amish gals whip up...and they didn't disappoint this trip. I had cherry, he had apple; delish.
So we made it home by about 6:30 totally worn out.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Photo Friday, except it's Thursday

I got a new camera and I took this really great picture of my dog..just thought I'd share. Also, I am officially Mrs. Boo now. I went to all the necassary offices today to make my name change legal. Suprisingly, the BMV was not painful. The lady was actually pretty funny. Oh, I almost forgot...I went on my first appointment this morning for work and totally bit it. It had been raining so the bottoms of my high heels were wet. Then, I walked into this place with beautiful marble floors. Beautifully slick as baby shit marble floors. I fell down and couldn't catch myself because my hands were full. I was so embarassed because people saw me do it. I felt sorry for myself just like I feel sorry for other people when they fall down. Also, I've had a few beers this evening just in case any of what I'm saying is a bit askew.

Monday, October 15, 2007

Brain fart

Sometimes my brain doesn't work. I went to my office for a little while this morning, then left to go to my first appointment. My friend/coworker L was riding with me so we decided we'd stop at Starbucks on our way to the appointment. As it turns out, we had about an hour to kill so we had coffee and breakfast. We scanned the "clearance" table and I found two travel mugs that were marked down to $5.99 each. Previously they were $800.99 each....okay, they might as well have been because I wouldn't have spent more than $5.99 each. Boo and I got a fancy coffeemaker as a wedding gift and I felt like we needed travel mugs so that maybe I'll quit spending money at often. Anyway, I bought the mugs and the barista put them into a huge shopping type bag. I carried it over to the table and L and I proceeded to have breakfast and interesting conversation. You should have seen how much sugar this one woman put in her grande coffee! Woo! So, 45 minutes later L and I got up and left. That was around 8:45am. Fast forward to this evening at 6pm when I am sooo excited to get out the new mugs only to realize they are MIA. No mugs anywhere in my car. Shit! I left them at Starbucks! I called them up and the guy didn't see the bag or the mugs anywhere. I was positive somebody stole them. Then, in a rambling last ditch effort I describe the table where I sat near the condiment bar. "Ah ha!" he says. "There it is right where you left it!" I have to tell you, my faith in people (at least the ones that go to Starbucks) is renewed. All damn day that bag sat with cool mugs that were all paid for, and nobody took it! Hooray people! I'm picking my mugs up in the morning.

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Isn't "squirrel" a weird word?

I woke up this morning pissed off. I have no idea why. I was just irritable for no real reason. I even went to Starbucks for an Iced tall nonfat carmel macciato which is my usual wednesday morning routine, and it didn't even help. Then miraculously when I got to the office it began to wear off. Typically this order of emotional events happens in reverse. I'm usually testy at the office..not at Starbucks. Hmmm...I don't know what this means. Must have been a fluke.

Anyway, just a small observation to note on this blustery, unusually nippy October day; we had a small replica of the Wild Kingdom in our backyard this afternoon. There were eight million varieties of birds swooping from tree to tree to deck to yard to tree. My favorite bird, the Blue Jay, was out in force. I counted four. And a mottled disheveled looking cardinal made an appearance on the bench. There were two busy little squirrels hopping around in the yard. They were collecting berries and whatnot in their cheeks then digging around in the grass to bury the loot. I have no idea if these crazy buggers will be able to find it again. I assume they know what their doing. Needless to say, I felt I should let the menagerie know that their human neighbors would provide for them I put out an ear of field corn for the squirrels and I filled the bird feeder.
I don't feed the birds in the summer because there is plenty for them to eat. And, I usually don't feed them until the first frost, but I wanted to be sure the Blue Jays knew they could hang around here. They are such shits, I love them.

Monday, October 8, 2007

The Big Day

I promised to describe my wedding day so here I go. It really couldn't have been more perfect. Since I've been married before I'm not superstitious about seeing each other before the ceremony. Hey, it didn't help the first time! So, we woke up together at our house and went to breakfast with C and A. It was a substantial country breakfast because I knew I wouldn't have a chance to eat lunch, and breakfast is my favorite meal to go out for.

We went back to the house and loaded the cars with our luggage and wedding decorations. Boo's mom, A and me went to the little town where my wedding was and began decorating the gazebo. The town has the cutest little park with a quaint little gazebo and beautiful landscaping. It was $50. to rent the park. Yes, Fifty. We hung some fall garland and put some gorgeous mums on the steps. Autumn is my favorite.

I had to leave to get my hair done. It turned out perfect, half up, mostly down and wavy. I went back to the Inn where we were all staying the night and also where the reception was going to be. I went upstairs to our suite to relax for a few minutes. I just sat there and absorbed the moment. Our room was gorgeous. The bed was huge and cushy..I even wrote down the type of mattress it was! I'm a little obsessive sometimes. The headboard was a giant Victorian style that took up most of the wall. The drapes were deep dark heavy blue velvet that fell into puddles at the floor. The sunlight was muted by the lace sheers creating this really romantic feeling. *sigh* I'd love to go back right now.

Anywho, the ceremony was at 6:30 in the little park, it was gorgeous. We only had twenty guests, it was very intimate. Afterward we walked one block over to the Inn for dinner. We had a wonderful time. The food was perfect; each person had filet mignon, a chicken breast, baby glazed carrots and roasted potatoes. There was a four piece jazz band and occasional dancing. The evening was very special.
After our guests left, Boo and I made our way upstairs where we discovered another gift. Some friends had arranged for us to have the "romance package." So, when we opened the door there was a candle burning, rose petals scattered on the bed and floor, a chilled bottle of champagne and chocolate dipped strawberries. It was perfect.

So, I know I'm all sappy and "everything was perfect" so, don't throw up. But seriously, it couldn't have been better. My first wedding sucked. It was all wrong and the wrong guy..and I knew it when it happened. I knew it while I waited in the hallway before going down the isle.

So, I was storybook elated when it was all falling into place and felt just right. It felt better than right, it favorite.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

Show me your crotch!

Ah, here I am. I have been intending to publish a blog ever since I became hopelessly addicted to a couple of other blogs. I am not making any promises of comedy, drama or profoundness. I will, however, post some of my life experiences that I think are interesting. I have a horrible memory and this blog will also serve as my crutch. Oh, most of the time this blog will pretty much be rated PG-13. So, away we go...

I got married yesterday. Again. To a different guy (thank God). Yep, it was a pretty spectacular day for me. I am going to have to describe it for you, but I have to start the night before the wedding. My fiance's brother flew in from Tampa with his own fiance' and were staying with us Friday night.
Okay, time out. Let's get some things straight, Boo is my fiance (now husband) and his brother is C, who's fiance is A. Okay, game on.
C decided he should take Boo out for the traditional rite of passage for single men who are about to get hitched. They gathered up a few other guys and went out in a limo. They went to dinner, then to a local bar. Apparently that bar was "dead" and so they *had* to go to Babes. I can see their dilemma, can't you? So, Boo ends up onstage with his own belt around his neck and roped to the infamous pole. The girls were alternatley spanking and grinding on him. I'm sure he was miserable. The only reason I know these details is because Boo knows that I detest strip clubs and that I detest lying even more. So, he felt he was safer telling me the truth than running the risk of lying to me the day of our wedding. He's a smart guy. I wasn't mad, I know it won't be a regular occurance for him to go there. Lucky for him (and me) he didn't smell like a dirty vanilla crotch. Yeesh!

So, while he was out with the guys I was hanging out with A. She's very cool and we are very similar people with similar dysfunctional pasts. We had a big time the night before my wedding. It was pretty crazy. We started the evening at the barn where my horse lives. A is a horseperson too and I wanted to introduce her to my biggest critter. We then proceeded to the tanning shop so I could get a spray tan. I am soooo white. If I didn't get some bronzing I would have looked like a big ivory blob in my ivory wedding gown. Now, this is where it gets a little interesting. We left the tanning place and got on the interstate to go to Cheesecake Factory for dinner. We were cruising along, A was talking on her cell and I noticed a car next to us. It was a brand new electric blue VW Passat with no tags. Here's what happened...

A: talking on her cell
Me: notice a car matching my speed on the passenger side
Me: notice a lean, good looking young black man driving the car
A: talking on her cell
Me: notice the man is stroking his penis
Me: "A! That guy is jacking off!"
A: "Oh my Gawd!"
Me: "What should I do?"
Jack: smiling at us while beating off
A: "Laugh!"

So, we were laughing. Let me just say, he was sitting in that Passat and the tip of his penis came all the way up to the horn on his steering wheel! He was certainly proud of himself, and we were impressed with his uh, er... stuff?...even though it was a pretty creepy situation. Eventually, he was done and we took our exit. A and I ended up eating at Panda Express in the mall, getting some Starbucks and going home to shoot the shit. Yea, I told you it was a crazy night out! That's sarcasm, people.

Tell you what, this has been an incredibly long post, so I'll post more tomorrow telling you all about my wedding day.