It is the eve of returning to work. Bluh. I'm sitting here on this Sunday evening trying to muster up the realization that I'm going to work in the morning. It has been a lovely few days off. Thursday was spent at my in-laws and as always, I'm sure I gained five pounds while I was there. Boo's mom is a great cook and I fully appreciated the bounty set before me. After-all, it was Thanksgiving.
Certifiable
I was out the door at 3:35am on Friday to shop. Even I am wondering about my sanity. Kohl's opened at 4am and I had to be there. I bought a king size set of flannel sheets for $20. and they had been $80. Quite a deal! I picked up a few other items too. Then, I was off to Target because they opened at 6am. I was standing in the frigid early morning air at 5:30am. They had a particular item on sale that I wanted to get for my brother and sister-in-law. I won't mention it here because I can't remember if they read this blog or not. Don't want to let the cat out of the bag! So, after Target I went to, drum roll please, Castleton Square Mall. The mother of all Black Friday traffic jams and fender benders. It is the focus of all friday morning traffic girls trying to break a story on the news. I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised. I found a place to park on the edge of the parking lot, the lines weren't too long and nobody cussed at me.
I started out in JCPenney and made a couple trips out to my car to drop off loot. Then, I went back in and ventured out into the mall. It was sort of festive. Sort of, almost enjoyable. They had a band playing in the middle of the mall (with a great saxophonist I might add) and State Farm Insurance was handing out free coffee! Santa was front and center with all the little munchkins waiting to get their photo with him. Most people were courteous and polite and I was too. About 9:45 am I'd had enough and went home to nap. Boo had ventured out to shop much to my amazement. I'm not sure where he went because it was a top secret covert operation. I may not go shopping that early next year. Then again, you never know.
Meet the Fockers
My family came over Saturday for Thanksgiving. My mom, her husband, my brother and his wife...and their dog Peanut. Seriously, I'm not sure there is another family like mine. My step dad likes to cut loose with a rum and coke sometimes (every weekend and sometimes on tuesday) but on really special ocassions he likes "Sailor Jerry" rum. It makes him crazy. So, he began drinking those almost immediately upon arrival. I had the bird in the oven and started whipping everything else together. I was asked by a couple different family members if I was "okay." When I am multi-tasking and focused I apparently get a pissed off look on my face. I assured them I was fine. So, we got all the food on the table around 3pm. After everyones' bellies were full my husband helped me rinse dishes and load the dishwasher. He also helped me clean the house before everyone came over. He is very very good to me and I appreciate him.
Anyway, my stepdads Sailor Jerry has been tempered by a mountain of food for the moment. As the evening wears on we rally out of our turkey stupor for a game of Pictionary. My sister-in-law, D is super competitive. During one moment of the game my stepdad, Sailor Jerry, challenged something and got D all worked up. The more worked up she got, the more he razzed her. Then my brother started farting. My mom is having a siatic (sp?) nerve issue and so she was walking around like Igor. I asked her when she was going up to the bell tower to ring the bell. She almost laughed herself right down onto the floor. Then I thought my dog was growling but it was mom farting on the wooden chair and it was the reverb that I heard. She said there was noway she could have gotten up and walked away without losing her grip anyway. Boo was about three sheets to the wind at this point. Peanut and Mya were humping each other all over the house. I was entirely too sober for all of this. D announced that they had to leave at 10pm. I was ready for everyone to go home. I love them, but I was exhausted.
So, my brother farted his way right out the door while everyone was getting in their respective cars to go home. Boo followed them all outside while I stood near the bay window waving goodbye. By this time it was 11pm and Boo is yelling at the top of his lungs (in our very quiet older neighborhood) "My brother-in-law's ass stinks! Peeyew! Woohoo! Nasty Ass! etc" Then Sailor Jerry pipes up with something about my brother and his rank ass. I was trying to shush Boo even though he couldn't hear me through the window. Finally, they all pulled out of the driveway and went the wrong way through the neighborhood. I went to bed and left Boo in his drunken puddle watching football on the couch.
That was my Thanksgiving weekend. I'm sure we'll replay a scenario very similar to that in about a month. Can't wait.
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