Mama Said

I'm sick today. Probably from all the holiday happenings...got me all run down. That's what my mom always used to say to me..."You're going to get run down and sick if you keep going the way you are!" Maybe there is some wisdom there someplace. Although, this is the same woman who asked me the most ridiculous question the other day on the phone. Here's how it went...
Me: "Well, I bought our bird for Thanksgiving"
Mom: "Do you know how to cook it? You just need an hour for every four pounds"
Me: "I was just going to go to butterball.com and check out their instructions"
Mom: "WHAT?! Do you think the internet is smarter than me???" (deeply offended and serious)
I of course said, "No, mom." I was thinking to myself, what a crazy question.

Just so you know, I've been on the couch all day wrapped in multiple crocheted afghans and my little dog Mya has been right here by my side. Oh, except for the two hours I had to drag myself across town to doctor my horse. The barn owner called to tell me my horse, Dixie, had come in lame last night. So, together he and I soaked her foot in hot water and epsom salt. I gave her some bute (horsey Tylenol) and put her back in her stall. If she's not any better tomorrow I'll be calling the vet.
I do love my critters.

It's Thanksgiving Charlie Brown!

It is the eve of returning to work. Bluh. I'm sitting here on this Sunday evening trying to muster up the realization that I'm going to work in the morning. It has been a lovely few days off. Thursday was spent at my in-laws and as always, I'm sure I gained five pounds while I was there. Boo's mom is a great cook and I fully appreciated the bounty set before me. After-all, it was Thanksgiving.

Certifiable

I was out the door at 3:35am on Friday to shop. Even I am wondering about my sanity. Kohl's opened at 4am and I had to be there. I bought a king size set of flannel sheets for $20. and they had been $80. Quite a deal! I picked up a few other items too. Then, I was off to Target because they opened at 6am. I was standing in the frigid early morning air at 5:30am. They had a particular item on sale that I wanted to get for my brother and sister-in-law. I won't mention it here because I can't remember if they read this blog or not. Don't want to let the cat out of the bag! So, after Target I went to, drum roll please, Castleton Square Mall. The mother of all Black Friday traffic jams and fender benders. It is the focus of all friday morning traffic girls trying to break a story on the news. I have to say though, I was pleasantly surprised. I found a place to park on the edge of the parking lot, the lines weren't too long and nobody cussed at me.
I started out in JCPenney and made a couple trips out to my car to drop off loot. Then, I went back in and ventured out into the mall. It was sort of festive. Sort of, almost enjoyable. They had a band playing in the middle of the mall (with a great saxophonist I might add) and State Farm Insurance was handing out free coffee! Santa was front and center with all the little munchkins waiting to get their photo with him. Most people were courteous and polite and I was too. About 9:45 am I'd had enough and went home to nap. Boo had ventured out to shop much to my amazement. I'm not sure where he went because it was a top secret covert operation. I may not go shopping that early next year. Then again, you never know.

Meet the Fockers

My family came over Saturday for Thanksgiving. My mom, her husband, my brother and his wife...and their dog Peanut. Seriously, I'm not sure there is another family like mine. My step dad likes to cut loose with a rum and coke sometimes (every weekend and sometimes on tuesday) but on really special ocassions he likes "Sailor Jerry" rum. It makes him crazy. So, he began drinking those almost immediately upon arrival. I had the bird in the oven and started whipping everything else together. I was asked by a couple different family members if I was "okay." When I am multi-tasking and focused I apparently get a pissed off look on my face. I assured them I was fine. So, we got all the food on the table around 3pm. After everyones' bellies were full my husband helped me rinse dishes and load the dishwasher. He also helped me clean the house before everyone came over. He is very very good to me and I appreciate him.
Anyway, my stepdads Sailor Jerry has been tempered by a mountain of food for the moment. As the evening wears on we rally out of our turkey stupor for a game of Pictionary. My sister-in-law, D is super competitive. During one moment of the game my stepdad, Sailor Jerry, challenged something and got D all worked up. The more worked up she got, the more he razzed her. Then my brother started farting. My mom is having a siatic (sp?) nerve issue and so she was walking around like Igor. I asked her when she was going up to the bell tower to ring the bell. She almost laughed herself right down onto the floor. Then I thought my dog was growling but it was mom farting on the wooden chair and it was the reverb that I heard. She said there was noway she could have gotten up and walked away without losing her grip anyway. Boo was about three sheets to the wind at this point. Peanut and Mya were humping each other all over the house. I was entirely too sober for all of this. D announced that they had to leave at 10pm. I was ready for everyone to go home. I love them, but I was exhausted.
So, my brother farted his way right out the door while everyone was getting in their respective cars to go home. Boo followed them all outside while I stood near the bay window waving goodbye. By this time it was 11pm and Boo is yelling at the top of his lungs (in our very quiet older neighborhood) "My brother-in-law's ass stinks! Peeyew! Woohoo! Nasty Ass! etc" Then Sailor Jerry pipes up with something about my brother and his rank ass. I was trying to shush Boo even though he couldn't hear me through the window. Finally, they all pulled out of the driveway and went the wrong way through the neighborhood. I went to bed and left Boo in his drunken puddle watching football on the couch.
That was my Thanksgiving weekend. I'm sure we'll replay a scenario very similar to that in about a month. Can't wait.

Thanksgiving vs. Day of the Turkey

I feel like a child that can't focus on school because I'm so excited about an upcoming event that doesn't have anything to do with school. My brain has left the office. I'm ready to be cooking and eating and bustling in the kitchen. I'm ready to watch the Macy's parade and eat coffee cake on the couch.

Boo and I will travel to his parents on the day of the turkey (that's what it's known as in Mexico). Not really. Anyway. We'll go early and take a vegetable. His mom is going to help me sew new buttons to my favorite sweater because Mya chewed the old ones off. I'm pretty sure I never learned about sewing buttons in Home Ec. class. Thanks for nothing Mrs. Pearson. But I learned how to make a mean pair of "jams"!

I digress.

On Saturday my familia will join Boo and I at our home. I plan to just make a big turkey breast instead of the whole dirty bird. We'll also have other basics such as green bean casserole, corn, mashed potatoes, peas (because I love them) and rolls. I am toying with the idea of having a relish tray too. I do plan to eat in moderation because I am scheduled to be in a bathing suit in February.

We just booked our honeymoon and I am probably going to pee my pants with excitement! We're going to Playa del Carmen, Mexico. Woo hoo! More on that another time.

Let's talk about Friday. To shop or not to shop? This is probably the craziest thing I do for a deal. I love deals and bargains. In my old age, however, I've gotten more selective. It's not a deal if you're buying something you don't need.

So, I will peruse the store ads and if a bargain snares my attention, I will be up before the ass-crack of dawn to go hunt it down and drag it home. I actually persuaded Boo to go with me to Kohl's last year, this year he is wise to my ways and plans to sleep in. That's okay though, I move more quickly from store to store when I'm alone. A lonely hunter. Stealth and cat-like I will move through the shadows of the parking lots. I will shield my eyes from the agonizing burn of florescent retail lighting before natural light emerges. And bravely I will prepare myself with a Grande sugar-free vanilla Americano.

And that my friends is why I am on vacation in my mind. In fact I'll share this photo of my horse. She is expressing her feelings about vaction too.

Coffee and a nap please

It is a slow Sunday morning in Indiana...at least in my house. Boo and I treated ourselves to Cracker Barrel for breakfast and came home and made a pot of coffee. This is the first time in a week I've been inspired to blog...and I have some catching up to do. So off we go....







Last weekend



We went to Tampa Florida. Boo's brother C lives there with his fiance A. This was our second trip down there and both times Boo and C's parents have gone with us. Let me say this, I enjoy the normalness of hanging out with Boo's family because it is so different from what I grew up with. A very enjoyable weekend in sunny Florida. We went to Busch Gardens and it was really pretty cool. I'll share a few photos I took.

It was a very relaxing weekend. I am especially thankful to C and A for sharing their home and showing us around.

This Weekend
Friday night we put together our new dining room set. I fell in love with this table and chairs on http://www.jcp.com/ and I am very wary of buying things without seeing them in person. The thing is my local JCPenney doesn't have furniture in the store. So I had to take a chance, after-all they have a seven day return policy. When we got it all put together Boo and I were both impressed with the craftsmanship and sturdiness of the both the chairs and the table. Yay, just in time for Thanksgiving!
Saturday we drove down to Columbus, IN to catch a charter bus over to the Oaken Bucket game (IU vs. Purdue) in Bloomington. This was my very first time ever college football game. My college didn't have football. We tailgated in the parking lot, drank some beer, played cornhole and enjoyed the mild, sunny, November day. The original plan did not include tickets to the actual game. Boo's friend had some extra tickets to this sold out game and so we went. I am so glad we did! I will not soon forget my first game! We were rooting for the IU Hoosiers and during the first half they were unstoppable. The team was playing for their late coach, Terry Hepner. That gave them a lot of heart. Purdue rallied int he second half and the game was tied with three minutes to go. The kicker for IU pulled through for the team kicking a 49 yard field goal! Unbelievable! The students poured out of the stands and onto the field, it was a huge celebration!
Then on the bus ride home a couple of thirty-something, drunken arm-chair quarterbacks got a little rowdy. One of them even had his "cow bells" hanging out of his pants (I'll let you envision this without further description) and thought they were very cool. And they would have been cool, if they were with a bunch of twelve year old boys. The rest of us were annoyed. Oh then there was the part where our bus hit a deer and we almost drove off the road. It was a very volatile ride back to the car.
All in all a fun day and a great game though!
Now, I am sipping my coffee on this chilly grey morning. I don't want to have to do anything today. Lazy? Maybe, but I really don't care. And Boo is in full support and is sympathetic to my laziness. In fact, he is joining me.
I smell a nap coming on!

Do the Doo!

I got my hair cut on Tuesday. It's shorter, a little darker and more professional. And...age appropriate I think. It's a sassy cut that is longer in front and somewhat stacked in the back. Some have dubbed it my "married" hair doo. It's actually kind of what Jenny McCarthy has going these days. Not that she's my style icon..merely a hair model. I just think it's a more mature look. My hair has been the same for years, it was time for a change. This new doo is going to require a few tools that are not currently in my hair utensil arsenal. I need a round brush, teasing comb, smoothing serum and some kind of root lifter...Oh, and a smoothing brush. I tried to cheat today and just use a fat curling iron instead of the round brush and it doesn't work. It gives too much oomf to the hair by my face instead of the roots. Gotta lift those roots! I put one of my favorite hats on today to be sure I don't look like a boy. I love to wear hats and I'll be damned if I look like a boy when I wear one! The doo passed the hat test. Yay!

Can I go to effing bed yet?

It is 9pm-ish. Two days ago it would have be 10pm-ish right now. So I am tired and irritable. Monday is my longest day. The alarm went off at 6am and I was up after one ten minute cycle of snooze. Cleaned up some dog pee and got in the shower. Mya (my dog) has allergies and has to take Prednizone, it makes her very thirsty and that results in extra peeing. Usually she holds it pretty well, so it must have been an emergency.
I was at the office at 7:30am for my first meeting. The work day went really well. It was a day in the office and not my vehicle which is my actual office. I usually don't like being in the office but the other reps and I make it fun.
After work L and I went to the Blu Martini with some other reps for half price sushi. I'm not a huge sushi fan, but it's mostly because I don't like the seaweed (or whatever it's called). It feels like I'm trying to chew a Hefty bag. So, I get the Blu Martini roll. It is crab, cucumber, cream cheese, rice and wrapped in soy paper...sans Hefty bag. Yum! Boo met up with us later.

Then Boo and I came home. This is where the irritation comes in.
We just got ceramic tile in the kitchen and utility room. Until yesterday the fridge was in the dining room, washer/dryer in the front room and the oven in the living room. We finally got that all moved back into place. BUT...there is still shit everywhere. It is just pissing me off to look at it. Boo's drill on the counter with sawdust and cabinet doors that need to be hung back up. Paint cans sitting around. Strips of quarter round that have nails sticking out of them laying in the middle of the kitchen floor. I was shuffling through he kitchen barefooted and found an old nail thankfully before it went into my foot. So I finished putting paint tape around on the floor in the utility room while Boo came in to sit and watch tv. Then I stomped around putting things away; I had a fight with a cookie sheet that was stuck in the dishwasher. Now I am typing VERY hard on my keyboard. I just want the house back in one piece. It feels like I've been living in transition for weeks now. Huh. I think I'm done bitching now.

The Mellencamp show was very cool. The set list was awesome and the man himself is so fun to watch onstage. Boo and I had a good time meeting other Mellencampers at the Hard Rock Cafe for dinner before the show. We had great seats and I danced and stood up the whole time...even during the mellow acoustic set. I wish he would have taken off that vest to show off his blue jeans and white t-shirt. He's got a new album coming out soon, look out!
Okay, that's enough, I'm going to effing bed.

Pekingese propaganda

Happy Friday! I just feel like I need to clarify this fat feeling that I'm having. If you saw me in person you would probably say, "Oh my gaaawwwd! You are NOT fat!" And you will just think I am a slender person being irrational and if you are heavier than me, you might even be offended that I think I have a few extra pounds. But. Here's the thing. I know how my body feels to me and I can tell I've picked up a few pounds and I don't like it. I am feeling unhealthy because I eat crappy food and don't exercise on a regular basis. And I am extremely paranoid of developing heart disease when I'm a little older. When you hit your 30's you think of things like this. At least I do. Okay, I am a freakshow..it's okay, just say it. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I am aware of how most people will view me and my physique...but I know it's not as good as it used to be and I need to do some work. So, there.

Switching topics...Boo and I window shopped the Hallmark store after dinner tonight. Then I couldn't resist and decided to go in. We wandered around and looked at all the useless decorative items that are very appealing to me. Then I spotted a shelf with some dog figurines and had to check it out. Anytime I look at dog things it never fails...they always have "yellow lab" stuff (which is what my stepdog is) but they never have "Pekingese" stuff. I think this is complete b.s. I know there are more pissed off Pekingese owners besides me. Well well! Lo and behold tonight they had a cute little Pekingese figurine! Ha ha! I was so excited! Boo asked me where I'd put it..and I said 'on my desk'....great, except I don't have a desk. At work we just have work stations where we hook up to the computer for a couple hours then we're out the door selling things. So, since I don't know what I'd do with it, I didn't get it. Just a side note, my friend A gave me some Pekingese socks and I have no idea where she found them, but I am sincerely appreciative. Thanks A!

Have you looked for your glasses when they're on your head?

Well, I wore my costume to the "Mummies" concert, had too many cocktails and danced as much as my go-go boots would allow. They are very tall.

Anyway, the Mellencamp show is this Saturday in Indy and Boo and I are going! I love Mellencamp's music. I think he uses simple language to say very deep things. As a Hoosier girl from a small rural community I relate to his lyrics pretty well.

On another topic, I hit the "after Halloween" clearance bins today. No, not for candy, ha! Candy is the thing I need least in this world! I don't know where this weight has come from, but it seems like it just crawled up my leg and made a home on my belly. Jiggle jiggle. Gross! I am totally grossed out because I weigh more than I ever have. I've got to do something about it. Now. Actually, Boo and I didn't have any decorations for Halloween, so I went to get some after they went on sale. So, I bought them and some orange tubs to store them in, all for 50% off! Woo hoo! I am very thrifty and I enjoy a bargain more than the thrill of paying full price at a fancy store. I got a couple of those little lighted village things. Usually you see a lot of Christmas ones, but these are Halloween ones. One of them has a little witch being chased by a ghost that rotates around the top as if they were flying. Oh yea, it's exciting stuff!

Alright, now that I've bored you with my Halloween retail extravaganza I'll share a snipet from this morning:

7:30am Boo's phone buzzes as he is stepping out of the shower

Boo: *under his breath* "Who the hell is calling me?" *while slipping on his underwear*

*Boo is talking to somebody on the other end that is not making him very happy*

*hangs up the phone* Boo: "Damn that is NOT how I wanted to start the day. Where is my underwear?" *sifting around the rumpled blankets on the bed where his underwear used to be*

Boo: "Oh hell, I have them on!"