Change is in the air

I feel like I am ready to climb the walls. I want to go through the house and throw everything away. Go through my closet and throw everything out. Take everything off the walls and enjoy the emptiness. We just had some of the rooms in our house painted so most of the stuff is off the walls anyway. It feels fresh. This time of year is typically when really big changes have happened in my life...I guess I'm waiting for something to change. Of course it's "back to school" season and that was always exciting for me no matter what age I was...elementary, high school, college...I love going back to school. I happen to be in a Photoshop class right now. So, that's nice...I love to take classes. Then, it seems most of my relationships have begun or crashed in a firey demise around this time of year. I left my ex-husband on October 1st 2004. My parents seperated and divorced in the fall. I move in the fall (I've moved on average once a year for the past ten years...no joke.) I got remarried last October 6th. Sometimes I change jobs in the fall. Yep, anything major in my life seems to occur in the fall. I'm not sure what, if anything is changing this fall. But I've got the itch. Something should be changing, I just can't figure out what it is yet.

Just a hunch?

I know, I know, I know....I was posting practically everyday then, BAM! Nothing. I probably should've been blogging this whole time though...I think it's a great way to vent. For the past week or so I've been completely covered up with my job. Basically 12 hour days, everyday. I even worked last Sunday. The sad thing is, my office is at my house...the house is falling down around me while I am working for a company that really doesn't give a hoot about me as a person. When I took this job one of the first doctors I met said, "Start your own business, it's the only way you'll make any money." Hmmm....my wheels start turning.

Then today, I was sitting in a doctors office forever while I waited for a signature so I read an article in Womens Day about trusting your intuition. The article said that instead of making decisions based on outside circumstances, the judgement of others, and even societal norms, you should trust you instincts. Go with your gut. Trust your own innate ability to know the truth about somebody, something or a situation. I am putting this mostly into my own words, but you get the jist. They had a few examples of women who have changed their lives based on the choices they made based on a feeling. One woman became a best selling novelist, one woman didn't trust a doctors assessment and insisted on a mammogram, etc. It's the August issue..try to find it.
We all have this ability. Everyone of us has a little voice in our head that says, "this is wrong, don't do it," or "go for it, this is perfect for you." Or instead of a voice, it's just a feeling. I try to follow the "doubt means don't" philosophy. If you have any doubts, you probably shouldn't do it.
If you have to force something to happen, maybe it's not really supposed to happen.
Maybe there's a constant gnawing in the back of your mind that you're in the wrong situation and you really should be spending your life doing something that means something to you. I think some people are content to work their whole lives in a proverbial cubicle for the man. Some people require more to satisfy their soul. I require more.

The New Dock

Friday night I loaded the dogs into the Honda CRV along with my husband and all our gear. Not only did we pack our regular "going to the lake" luggage, but we had to bring every conceivable tool that he might need to build a dock. Each male family member was required to show up with a power drill and enough stamina to build the new dock from start to finish in one day. I showed up with my camera. The guys built the new dock over at another cabin because they have a flat yard. Our cabin sits

way up on a a very steep hill. They figured this would be a more ideal location. This is how the dock began...My brother is attaching the floatation dealies. Once the floaters are attached, they have to flip the whole thing over to begin putting the decking in place. They are so manly.Here's my Boo and stepdad securing the bracing.The decking process begins.The guys are hammering the final board in place. Yay!The three manly men are trying to push that big ol thing into the water....
Turns out they needed to implement a little girl power.Look at that! It's in the water! It floats!My Boo and brother put a boat motor on it so they could "drive" it over to it's new home in from of our cabin. I think they look like Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer floating down the Mississippi. Right?Here she is at her new home. She will connect to the steps with a ten foot gangplank. This dock will serve many years at our cabin. She will rise and fall with the lake level, weather many season changes, feel the pitter pat of tiny feet, serve as a launch pad for our dogs as we throw sticks for them to fetch, patiently watch future children learn to swim and lie in silent counsel for moments of much needed retreat. Built with love for the enjoyment of the whole family.

The Old Dock

Here's the old dock at the lake. You can see that it's in pretty bad repair. And what in tarnation is that ugly green thing? Well, that my friends is my grandpas answer to a "boathouse." It has always looked incredibly out of place, an eyesore if you will. My grandpa didn't give a hoot about appearances. Practicality and functionality was his concern. Oh, and frugal...he was frugal. The man was an optometrist, I suppose he probably did pretty well financially, but you would never know it. He never felt that he needed to keep up with the Jones' or any other family that lived beyond their means. So, this is our old dock. It's gone now...we tore it out. I thought I'd share some photos of the demolition....





The guys are cleaning out the dock box, where motors and batteries are stored. Apparently it is also a shelter house for single mouse mothers (say that ten times fast). We found a mother mouse and three babies. She was evicted.

Here she is on the steps looking down at one of the babies. They eventually scampered off into the woods.That's my Boo wrestling a post in the water. My stepdad and brother look like they're taking a break, don't they?
Farewell old dock. Good ridance green thing. The new dock will be constructed this weekend, stay tuned for pics.

The Lake

We went to the lake two weekends ago to tear out the old dock. We are going back to the lake this weekend to build the new dock. One of my favorite things to do is scoot out of the cabin early in the morning to enjoy and observe the peace and quiet that I can only find there. Come take a morning walk with me...

My grandpa built this cabin 50 years ago. It sits on a small lake with some other cabins. It is the only remaining place from my childhood that I can still go to. It's not fancy but so many memories live there and so many more are waiting to be made.

Here she is!

There's my mare! She came home from Purdue and is slowly healing from surgery. She's just hanging out in the pasture in her fly mask. They removed the tumor with a CO2 laser and kept her in the large animal hospital for three weeks. A student called me everyday to tell me her progress. I am so glad to have her home.
Here she is hanging with her girls. All the boys are over in the other field. They flirt with her. And she teases them. They find her fly mask very mysterious and intriguing. Probably because
the other girls aren't wearing one. That's my girl, she's a horse of a different color, literally and figuratively. Yay Dixie! Welcome home!